Are you my wife?

This blog has moved!

2008-10-23T11:25:00.002+01:00

Hello, if you are subscribed to email updates, please note I have moved to www.AreYouMyPartner.com - where a whole new adventure begins. If you want to receive updates, please enter your email in the subscription box on that site.

Off we go!

No more updates

2008-01-07T10:23:00.000Z

I will no longer be updating this blogspot as the story continues over here: OurUltimateDate.com. If anyone out there is subscription land still wants updates, just re-pop your email in the new updates section...

To Make A Resolution?

2007-12-31T12:35:00.001Z

An update from OurUltimateDate.com

It’s that time of year, isn’t it? That time when you look back over where you’ve been and where you want to go, add it all up... And make resolutions, or not. So I’m going to time-warp back to this exact time last year: end 2006/start 2007:

I was five months into my experiment called AreYouMyWife. I had been on about 30 dates all over the world, had left my job, and I was living in my own self-started story: impulsive, imaginative, open horizons, tethered no where. From the outside it appeared that I was on a carefree road trip, but at some point on any road trip the fuel does run out. And I was on a plane.

Yep, I wasn’t with friends or family (or on a date) raising a champagne flute, I was somewhere over the Atlantic ocean as 2006 transitioned into 2007. And that was because it was the only time I could get on a standby flight back to London where I still had my material possessions and paid rent, but no job. My fuel tank was on “E”.

At this time last year I had almost ended AreYouMyWife as I considered four major life changing choices – two stable, two unstable. I made my choice, and almost felt foolish. But in the end, I met CeCe… and then promptly left for Australia.

So here we are: 2008. I’m in London, having gone a full circuit around the world to end up back where I started. I’ve just had my first Xmas with CeCe and her family. I now share an apartment with her, and bills, and I have a full time job, and we’re giving ourselves time to see how we go.

What a year it’s been: one of the most successful of my life to date, but also one of the most unpredictable and draining. So in looking back, I have to ask myself: do I have any regrets?

For now, I certainly don’t, especially after taking a step towards one of our OUDBOD dreams by bringing out The AreYouMyWife Story… Bite Size.

But I may well have regrets this time next year, if I’m not careful. The thing on my mind going forward is marriage… but not between CeCe and I just yet… We still have a long way to go on that front.

I’m hoping to marry the impulsive, imaginative story I once lived with the stable reality I’m currently living. I want to balance the creative with the routine, the road-trip with being stationary. That is a big hint as to what is behind the Door on Are-You-My.com.

As for new year’s resolutions, I don’t believe in those. You either do, or you don’t. You either talk about something, or you act on it.

This time next year I’ll be reflecting once again. And I wonder how it will all look in the rear-view mirror: a regret? Or a triumph? I guess we’ll see.

Happy new year everyone!

The AreYouMyWife Story… Bite Size

2007-12-20T10:43:00.001Z

An update from OurUltimateDate.com

The AreYouMyWife Story… Bite Size

A major victory is now tangible for you to own! CeCe and I have produced a coffee table book about the AreYouMyWife journey. I'll tell you all about it in this video:

AreYouMyWife Video#67 – Bite Size!
(Video not working? Click here)

If you want to read the backcover, click here

HOW TO GET IT
The book comes in three sizes, is printed on demand at Blurb.com and can be ordered in £, $ or €.

Option#1 – Through yours truly

1) Email me on areyoumywife@gmail.com, cut and paste the italicized A-to-E text below into your message and fill in:

A) Which book size(s) you want (7x7" 10x8" 13x11"), and in softcover/hardcover
B) Quantity
C) Your full shipping address with postal/ZIP code and country
D) Preferred currency: £, $ or €
E) How you wish to pay: Cheque, bank transfer, credit card/paypal (link below) or cash – if you’re in London.

2) I’ll email you back total cost and shipping options.

3) Once we arrange payment, I’ll place your order for you and email you the confirmation and tracking numbers.

Option#2 – Direct from Blurb with credit card

Blurb will make this function available only in late January 2008

***
For those who have already made arrangements with me under option#1, click the PayPal button to pay via credit card:

Seasonal Crunch

2007-12-17T12:39:00.001Z

An update from OurUltimateDate.com

Wow, this time of year is expensive. Next week I get my first paycheque from my new job, and it is all pretty much spoken for already. So like most people, I'll be hoping 2008 is more profitable ;-)

Mind you, in 2006 I started AreYouMyWife, in 2007 it went full circle and I moved in with CeCe (and we're having our first Xmas together) and around Spring 2008 I will reveal what is behind the Door.

Good things take time, I guess. And on that note, I have an announcement.

By the end of this week I will be putting up a video about the fact that a book about AreYouMyWife will soon be available to the world... Stay tuned!

100!!!

2007-12-10T10:42:00.000Z

An update from OurUltimateDate.com

We just broke over 100 slides of photos and digital artwork submitted from all over the world for Are-You-My.com. Soon I’ll start giving some more clues as to what exactly we’re up to.

A big thanks to all the people out there streaming in the creativity from Dream#3. And in a couple more weeks, ladies and gentlemen, Dream#1 takes a big step forward. After the past few months, a few victories heading into 2008 will be very welcome.

And I took the photo below in a museum the other day. CeCe and I are arguing over whether it’s rude or not. I say no, she says yes. What do y’all think?

The First Week

2007-12-04T10:23:00.001Z

An update from OurUltimateDate.com

I’ve been at my job for one week, and I’m still loving it. And that is because of intimacy.

The firm I work at has 10 people and we’re all on the same floor. We’re like a Mediterranean family: always yelling, always passionate, but things get done. Because I have changed jobs three times last month before landing this role, I’ve had the opportunity to see the opposite of office intimacy: heavy, multi-floored, cubicled companies with so many people that left hand and right hand don’t speak with left toe, right eyebrow, third eye and everything gets slowed down.

There’s no politics in my new role. If I need something, I holler. If my co-workers need something from me, they holler. Nice tight unit, we are. No need for “open door” policy with the Managing Director; he doesn’t have a door. So I holler at him, too. Sometimes just to holler. Because I can.

And this job marks a milestone for CeCe and I. Since I moved in with her in September and we set out our goals for Our Ultimate Date, I hit one pitfall after another trying to find a job that both pays well and fits my skill set. I’ve had a rough couple of months, plagued by financial uncertainty, but it seems I finally found my feet.

And that has a knock on effect on our dreams. As for Dream#01, I have news… and a visual. Coming in 2008:

What a Sight!

2007-11-29T09:50:00.000Z

An update from OurUltimateDate.com

CeCe and I went back to our roots: a place where we once really got to know each other – Devon. Friends of ours were getting married, and plus we will take any excuse to get out of London.

But while we were in Devon we saw something amazing. We came out of a café to see a massive 8-foot robot walking the streets and singing! I photographed what I was looking at:

And I’m sure you guessed what I asked the Robot to do:

Duly refreshed with the country air and spirit, CeCe and I spent the long journey home working on Dream#1. I’m hoping to have some news just before Xmas break.

The Honeymoon is Over… Or Starting Anew?

2007-11-23T11:56:00.001Z

An update from OurUltimateDate.com

Wow, what a week. The times they are a changin’, and how!

Just as the dust was settling in Soho on my new job – which I started last week – I got called out of the blue with an offer I couldn’t refuse. A digital agency wanted me as an account manager (permanent role) for a well known world wide brand.

Oh the dilemma! I considered everything, and because the Soho role was only freelance with a contractual week’s notice, I decided to accept the permanent role which was much more up my alley.

The Soho people were gutted to be sure, but understanding. Above all, I explained that I did not want to sit still in one role if it meant I would be living everyday full of regret for not having chased an opportunity.

So this month – November – I’ve changed jobs three times, but I feel as if I've landed right where I want to. Like the AreYouMyWife journey, random events contrived in my favour after I put myself out there to the world with no expectations.

Accepting a permanent role also means that CeCe and I are one step closer to being “settled” here in London for a little while.

And I’ve also come to realise that if I want to grow my relationship with CeCe and have a life outside work, one of two things must happen regarding OUDBOD dreams. I either:

1) Scale down my efforts which will delay a lot of things, or

2) Get some help from the outside and work smarter, not harder

Obviously people are already helping me by submitting photos and digital art of the Door in locations all over the world. And another friend is helping me behind the scenes by maintaining Are-You-My.com. But I’m going to need more help to achieve Dream#1 and Dream#3.

Amazingly, through the process of finding my new job, I think I might have met the right person to help me with my big targets.

There is no “I” in Team, but there is in Time

2007-11-19T09:50:00.001Z

An update from OurUltimateDate.com

I sometimes hate time because it slips away so damn fast when you need it, and hangs around too long when you don’t. Lately, it’s been slipping real fast.

Around all the things that have been happening since AYMW calmed down – moving in with CeCe, finding work the hard way, a few assaults on my bank account and spirit – CeCe and I have been trying to push our own ideas and OUDBOD dreams forward.

And I think I may have got lost in the nitty gritty of some of those dreams, to the detriment of our relationship. It’s true, good relationships are built on time-tested foundations. And to be sure, there is no shortcut – you gotta spend time with each other.

Living together obviously helps. But I must confess that on many occasions I’ve had my head buried in my laptop when CeCe gets home, and lately I have been very unlike the way I once presented myself to the world on AreYouMyWife: outgoing, adventurous, spontaneous.

The new quieter routine and slower pace of life I find myself in partly comes down to a lack of funds (and the urge to save up again), partly because we do need some down time after AYMW, and mostly because I imposed some deadlines on myself to get certain things done… Deadlines that came and went and had to get moved forward.

I guess life happens when you make plans, and it’s important not to miss life. CeCe has brought me a lot of balance, and with open dialogue we make sure to let the other know what’s on our mind all the time.

Ah, time. If only there was more of it to spare. On that note, I want to take this opportunity to thank a lot of people all over the world for investing their creativity and time into Are-You-My.com… just look at some of these:

Soho Strollin'

2007-11-15T11:38:00.001Z

An update from OurUltimateDate.com

Started the new job today, and all is well. I know all too well about “honeymoon” periods with new jobs, so I won’t be prone to exaggerating, but it feels right at the start.

I have been getting such awesome “Door submissions” – which I’ll add to the collection up after this weekend (it’s become a “batch” thing.)

Duly inspired, I decided to make the Door a part of my stroll on the way to work in Soho.

Touchdown!

2007-11-10T12:47:00.001Z

An update from OurUltimateDate.com

What an exciting week. After what happened last week, CeCe and I are both feeling big time jubilation once again.

In CeCe’s case she – like me – has been through the ringer in terms of dealing with recruitment agents that just don’t give a *&^#. So she decided to take a more direct – and old fashioned – approach to chasing her dream industry, and it bore fruit. She’s just waiting on a follow-up, and hopefully we’ll have good news in the coming weeks.

Meantime she continues her part time studies at the London College of Fashion, learning stuff every Thursday about an industry I can’t even pretend to understand. I’m a jeans and t-shirt man. Fabrics scare me.

On my front, I can safely report that the news is nothing but good. Next week I start an exciting freelance role in the digital realm with a big firm. And talk about location, location, location, they are based in the Soho district, which is easy to get to from where we live AND where I want to be: in the heart of Creative London!

It seems as if our patience and persistence have finally been rewarded and we are now striding towards where we want to be on individual levels, and well as a team. And this weekend I plan to take a major step towards OUDBOD Dream#1.

And as you probably have noticed, people are really getting into the teaser campaign for Dream#3, which is located on Are-You-My.com. Not only am I getting lots of cool photography of the symbol of my next endeavour, but also digital artwork! So get involved… It’s looking like I’ll be in a better position soon to really reward creativity in 2008.

<- Click here if your into FaceCrack

Doors Glorious Doors

2007-11-07T09:49:00.000Z

Update from OurUltimateDate.com

AYMW Video#66 - One Door Closes, Millions More Open

(Video not working? Click here)

Shuffle, Shuffle

2007-10-31T12:24:00.000Z

Update from OurUltimateDate.com

They say money isn’t everything. Who the heck are they?

The other night Cece and I were prancing down Oxford street with a bag full of clothes; a pile of new threads to wear for my new job. We were jubilant because both of us were feeling as if finally – after a rough couple of months – we could move forward on some OUDBOD projects as proud DINKs.

Well, as of today, we’re SINKs (Single-Income-No-Kids) again. I’m back on the market. Not for new clothes, but a new job.

To say I felt a bit numb on the train home yesterday is pretty accurate. The details of what happened are long, but basically the role didn’t work out. The upshot was that I took home some Tupperware that no one at the office wanted and I also made a great contact. On a scale larger than Tupperware, however, the budget Cece and I made for ourselves needs a re-look, taking into account the new clothes I splashed on and my sudden lack of a permanent job. Some of the OUDBOD dreams may suffer delays.

But not all is lost. I called my old temp job and they were happy to take me back for a few weeks, so at least I’m still employed – and I guess that means that we can move from SINKs back to part-time DINKs. I re-contacted all the recruitment agencies and they’re out looking for new roles for me.

Last night as I left that office I was dressed to kill, but inside my new clothes I was pretty down. However, all I know how to do is get back on the horse and try again. So I will.

Tripping doesn’t mean you have to fall.

Moving Ahead

2007-10-26T22:03:00.000+01:00

An update from OurUltimateDate.com

AYMW Video#65 - After a Hiatus

(Video not working? Click here)

Blast from the Past

2007-10-24T14:28:00.001+01:00

An update from OurUltimateDate.com

Well it certainly has been!

The other week CeCe and I went to have dinner with “A” – Date #3 from AreYouMyWife who’s date idea had been to tax me mentally in an Art Gallery. I also got to meet A’s friend, “D”, who was the person who convinced A to ask me out back in the early days of AreYouMyWife.

And remember Tamara? She’s the lovely Slovenian girl who met me in Budapest on a date that – among many other adventures – saw me wandering through catacombs and hot springs in Hungry. Well Tamara was visiting London this past weekend with her boyfriend, and they joined me on a London Skate and had some drinks with CeCe and I.

Tamara also became the first person to physically receive something from me that is a hint of what I’m working on next. Here is that “thing”…

And I will be telling you more in a very visual way very shortly, because it involves a lot of people from my past!

More soon…

Time Warp

2007-10-19T13:55:00.000+01:00

An update from OurUltimateDate.com

Well, it’s official: CeCe and I are now DINKs: Double Income No Kids. Yep, after a lot of bumps, I landed a great new job which starts in a week. This is a big step for CeCe and I, as it means a bit more financial freedom to work on OUDBOD. But recently I worried: Have I lost my groove in the past few months?

This time last year two major things happened.

The first was that I was flying to Montreal to attend the Fest of Evil, and a wonderful girl named Megan was flying in from California to be my date. The Fest of Evil is a creative event put together by my friend Harry (in photo next to horse). Harry can only be described as “unique”, “eclectic” and “legendary”. Every year he takes Halloween to a new level for all the people who come in from all over the world to attend the F of E.

The other major event is that it was this time last year when CeCe first read about me in the newspaper on her way to work, and emailed me. At the time she was going through a major struggle (something we still keep private on a blog), but she was also looking for a way to “shake life up a bit”, and to her AreYouMyWife looked to be in full swing: I was jitterbuggin’, life was unpredictable and zany, and creative execution was on high.

So one year on, I’m with CeCe and things have kind of sunk into a bit more routine. We leave for work in the morning, and it’s dark outside. We take the Tube to our jobs, and it’s dark. We come home, and it’s dark. We’re living the London life. Effectively, the difference between last year and this year is that CeCe now lives with the man she picked up in the newspaper one morning.

When we do get home we’re exhausted and most often just crash on the couch and watch a bit of mindless TV, then repeat until the weekend. The other night a show came on TV about people who get married and fall into dull routines and out of love with each other and life. The next day in the morning paper there was a story claiming that when men settle down, they lose their libido.

Well I don’t believe any of that. No matter what life hands you, you can always find a way to have a laugh. Especially if you’re a DINK. And as soon as I start my new job, CeCe and I might well be laughing… to the bank, then onwards through OUDBOD. We got some ideas we wanna rock before Xmas and into 2008 that seem a lot more possible now.

And in the future if someone frauds my bank account again, at least they’ll have a better time.

Visual Improvement

2007-10-17T13:40:00.000+01:00

Update from OurUltimateDate.com

Well, once you’re down you can only go up right? Despite the struggles and tribulations of the past few weeks, Cece and I haven’t lost focus and things are looking up.

Nevertheless, time does bleed together and fly by when one works full time, even as a “temp.” The old 9-5 routine I’ve been in for the past two weeks is nothing to be excited about save for the fact that it tops up my bank account as I interview for roles I really want and work on the OUDBOD.

However, I will divulge the following visuals about steps CeCe and I are taking towards Dreams 2 and 3.

As you can see, this is a pink notebook. It is new. It’s pages are blank. It sits waiting for November … which is when CeCe will start her part-time course at the London School of Fashion!

As you can see, this is a Door. It is new. The card it is printed on was at one time blank. It symbolises the idea I’m putting together for Dream#3.

This weekend – barring any laptop disasters or other struggles – I think I’ll go old school and make my first video in months telling you a bit more!

More soon…

Less Bumps and Some More Progress

2007-10-12T13:00:00.000+01:00

An update from OurUltimateDate.com

Long time no blog post.... but that is because things look to be turning around and I've been busy.

The postal workers have gone back to work – well, some of them – but my new bank card isn’t in yet, among other post. My temp role is going well and still flexible enough for me to get out to interviews for bigger roles. My overdue cheque came in, and the fraud department at my bank got me my money back!

And, as promised, CeCe and I have taken some steps towards dreams:

Dream#1 – Tell the whole truth
Cece gave me an idea to create something visual. I have an idea that I would like to achieve before Xmas, but it will involve some more R&D over the coming weeks.

Dream#2 – Cece in the fashion world
CeCe has signed up to the London School of Fashion to take a part-time course.

Dream#3 – Pass the torch
I’ve been playing around with some ideas lately, but next week I will give everyone a sure sign about what I’m going to do about it.

Anyway, I’d better get back to work!

More soon…

More Bumps

2007-10-06T15:53:00.000+01:00

An update from OurUltimateDate.com

Things got a lot worse this past week, but there is huge promise that they’ll be getting a lot better next week. Well, maybe.

It’s amazing how much of our lives are driven by computers. I just got mine back from the iHospital and I feel a whole person again. But then another computerized disaster struck. I got a phone call from my bank.

“Mr. Wills, were you in Croatia yesterday?” asked the bank rep.

If she would have asked me that a few months back – when I didn’t always wake up remembering what country I was in or if I was coming or going – then I would have had to think hard before answering. (I often forget what I have for breakfast.) However, for the past three months I’ve been very much resident in a tiny shared apartment in a large metropolis on a small, rainy green island. Of this, I am certain.

“No, I wasn’t in Croatia yesterday,” I duly replied.

Turns out that someone (who I assume dresses like the Hamburgler) cloned my bank card and withdrew what little savings I’ve been surviving off of, putting my bank account into the red.

In consequence, my bank card had to be shredded, and I was told I’d get another in the post in 5-7 business days. I was also told that – following an investigation of the fraud – I would get my funds back, but it might take awhile.

Then suddenly I remembered that a company actually owed me some money from last month. With a sense of urgency given the circumstances, I called up the accounts department to enquire about my late cheque. Due to some sort of paper snafu, my cheque was never issued, but the accountant apologised and said it would go out in a cheque run next week.

Then I opened the (free) newspaper to discover that the post office is on strike for all of next week, which means both my cheque and new bank card will soon become be members of a massive backlog and be delayed for another fortnight.

This prompted me to wonder if the phone systems were down – though surprisingly they weren’t – so because a few eager recruitment agents hadn’t called me back regarding some job interviews, I called them. As it turned out, some office-virus is going around and most of the agents I like were off sick this entire past week! To boot, two of the employers they have been speaking with on my behalf are short in the HR departments either for sickness or vacation. Then when everyone (hopefully) comes back, they’ll have a huge backlog of their own to deal with, as well as the postal strike.

But I guess the world is getting smaller. I live in London where Croatians get to tap my meager savings, British civil servants act as if they are in France and viruses know no borders.

But it isn’t all bad news. On the upside I got a temp job that will last for a month and is flexible so I can squeeze out for other interviews.

And next week CeCe and I are going to take some massive steps forward on all three of our OUDBOD Dreams!

I’ll tell you more next week, provided my laptop doesn’t get shot in an altercation with someone “going postal”, I don’t catch some devastating virus from a recruitment agent, and – above all – Apocalypse doesn’t happen.

Worms and stuff

2007-10-02T10:25:00.000+01:00

An update from OurUltimateDate.com

It’s been raining and damp and cold the past few days, and there is nothing more sickening then the smell of fermenting dead worms on the street. I tried something men really shouldn’t: multi-task. I was typing out a text message to CeCe while walking, when peripherally I clocked the rotting carcass of a huge worm on the sidewalk, and my foot was on course to land on it. In jumping to avoid stepping on it, I stubbed my toe on someone’s brick wall.

The pain was intense. I saw red. I tried to type out how I felt in the text message, but because predictive text was on, I could only cycle through word options as I hopped madly about - eventually landing on the closest permutation: Duck.

It’s been one of “those” weeks. My trusty laptop comes out of the hospital tomorrow, so that is good news. Still no solid job yet, and I still don’t like the process of waiting on other people (i.e. sales-reactive recruitment agents) selling me instead of me selling me. I half dabbled with the idea a few posts ago of launching an AreYouMyJOB blog to do exactly what AreYouMyWife did: cut out the walls and masks.

But the last thing I need to do right now is wing off on another zany and unfunded adventure. Not just yet. There is two of us to think about now, and the idea is to get steady, so I’ll have to play the recruitment game… for now … and maybe improve it later. And on that note…

Someone asked me a question in an email: If I had been on an internet dating site before launching AreYouMyWife, would I have met CeCe? The honest answer, I think, is no.

Long ago I didn’t think I had an affinity with blond, blue-eyed and tall girls such as CeCe. I have all those traits myself, so part of me figured I would end up with someone opposite: perhaps petite, darker features, etc. Opposites attract, right?

But let’s get hypothetical for a second. Say I never started AYMW and instead CeCe and I happened to sign onto an internet dating site at the same time. Firstly, we would have had to tick a lot of boxes about ourselves: height, hair colour, religion, politics, etc. etc. etc. not to mention write a “blurb” (or better said “product placement text”) about ourselves, and put our digital photos up.

That, pretty much, is how most internet dating sites are structured. The way people meet is either by having “love software” run statistical analysis and suggest other users to you, or you simply browse, or do a refined search where you tick what you are looking for in a partner.

I met CeCe because I dropped all labels and pre-text and we had experiences together and discovered each other as whole people, as opposed to binary packets that our minds might pre-label.

I’ve received a number of emails asking what my ideas for Dream#03 are, most of them opening with “I’m tired of internet dating sites, you gotta help me based on what you did.”

I get my laptop back tomorrow. We’ll start with that, provided I don’t slip on a worm.

The Two Month Itch

2007-09-26T10:21:00.000+01:00

An update from OurUltimateDate.com

(I was going to go old-school on this and make a video instead of a write up. I haven’t made an AreYouMyWife video in awhile. But I had an accident with my laptop and it’s in hospital. The dent is in the most tragic of places: the place where I plug the power in. So my laptop has lost it’s life line. Thank goodness my battery was fully charged and acted as life support. So back to an internet café for now. But here’s what I wanted to say:)

Depending on which magazines you read, married couples get “the itch” three, five or seven years after they say vows. Well CeCe and I are not married, but we both have the two month itch.

It has been pretty much been two months to the day since I finished AYMW, and just under a month since I moved in with CeCe to live our Ultimate Date.

To be honest, going through the AYMW journey to get to where I am now has been complete down shift in terms of speed. One minute I lived for the day, didn’t know where I would end up in the big wide world and was constantly dating and meeting new people and having adventures.

Since moving in with CeCe, I’ve been tethered to our very tiny apartment, my clothes are in a wardrobe and I’m back on the London job market.

However, every night CeCe and I talk about where we’re at in terms of our relationship and our OUDBOD dreams. OUDBOD is kind of like our bible; a source of inspiration, but we also use it as a tool to constantly remind ourselves of what we want, and hold each other to account. (To boot, we’ve decorated our apartment with some of the Grains of Sand I collected from all over the world.)

I have come to realise that when I set up AYMW my goal was get to know someone naturally, see if we work as a team and see if they – like me – strive to keep life interesting. And what better way than to live with someone in a tiny apartment, struggle with them financially but still harbour big hopes and dreams that we want to pull off within a year?

So I’m definitely have the two month itch, but the itch is not to get married quickly or – on the other hand – to be single again and back doing the wild AYMW process. I’m itchy to get a good job right now, be stable and work on OUDBOD dreams.

Whether or not we achieve our main mission – to remove the ? from AYMW – remains to be seen. But for now, I’m happy to be downshifting the speed. Living out of a bag is only fun for so long, but having a nest to come home to and contribute to is an awesome feeling.

And if Cece and I do well at these slow speeds, maybe next year we’ll up-shift and speed off in some new and wild direction. And of course, everyone reading this is invited to participate.

I’m also very itchy to get my laptop fixed, so I can make another video!

More soon…

***

Other Stuff:

A few folks don’t want to come all the way here to OurUltimateDate.com. They like the old AreYouMyWife blog just fine. So I decided to mirror all posts on the old blog as well. That way nobody has to re-shuffle their bookmarks, RSSs and email update feeds. The customer is, after all, always right!

Oh, and if your wondering why I took my UK contact phone number down, it’s because a woman in Sri Lanka was harassing me at all hours of day and night to get her out of that country.

WMDs and Other Battles

2007-09-21T18:46:00.000+01:00

Update from OurUltimateDate.com

The couple who battles together stays together, right?

Every night CeCe and I discuss how our personal battles are going, and what progress – if any – we’re making on our OUDBOD missions (dreams). Two of my major – and recent – personal battles have shared logistical challenges: masks, walls and doors...

On the first front: getting a job. I’ve been gritting my teeth and squeezing the auto-fire in shelling my CV out over a wide target area. However, after a month of battling the teeming masses of elusive, cold-calling London recruitment agents, I feel that I have finally broken down a few walls to secure a small group of “good” agents.

This, in turn, got me through a few doors onto the field where I soldier at my best: interviews with decision makers. Me, them, no masks.

I suppose you could call that “covering fire” for CeCe: If I get a job, she can worry less about rent and focus on her core mission: OUDBOD Dream#2 – Fashion World. Already she has plans to go back to school part-time! CeCe is a soldier who wants training.

On the other battle front: Dream#3: Helping people around the world find their soul-mates. Same logistic challenges: masks, walls and doors. In my search for a soul-mate I did it my way with the AreYouMyWife blog. You could say I created a WMD: Weapon of Mass Dating. My AYMW-WMD smashed down several walls, opened many doors and removed a lot of masks, on a global scale.

And that got me here with CeCe: The Ultimate Date: an even bigger challenge with more soldiers and a mandate that grows with time, small victories and (potentially) additional OUDBOD missions.

However, as many people have pointed out to me, I’m not longer using my WMD. Now I’m thinking about how I might share this instrument, modify it for the good of planet Earth, and make it user friendly to all. That – in military talk – is OUDBOD Mission Dream#3.

I have a two-tier strategy (I love saying that) for both battles. In the next couple of weeks I’ll be going to some interviews and meetings. Hopefully the interviews will get me a good job, and the meetings will lay the ground work for a public Weapon of Mass Dating that not even George W. Bush could miss.

Over and out... More soon...

Media and their icons

2007-09-17T18:45:00.000+01:00

Update from OurUltimateDate.com
The other week CeCe and I did a cool interview with Lorraine Kelly. Her production team made an icon for a vignette that made me look like this:

And here’s that interview:
VIDEO: Lorraine Kelly Interview on Sep-06-2007
(Video not working? Click here)

Here’s what CeCe thinks the logo should look like now:

And I’ve got some job interviews this week. As soon as I get a job, we can start working harder on our OUDBOD Dreams…

Or buy a plane.

Mountain Bike = Job?

2007-09-14T18:43:00.000+01:00

Update from OurUltimateDate.com

For the past couple of weeks I’ve been a bit down. I’ve been waking up every day in a nightmare that I faced two years ago: Dealing with London recruitment agents.

When I first moved to London in January of 2005, I hit a series of walls. In order to find a job, I trawled through hundreds of internet sites, fired off thousands of tailored CVs and made – as well as received – hundreds of cold-calls from high-octane, fast talking recruitment agents.

But back then – and again now in deja-vu – these agents rattle off briefs and specs and speak as if I already have the role they’re pitching. They use words like “fab location”, “stunning offices” and “brilliant benefits.” Sometimes they get so excited I feel as if I could write cheques on what they say. But bounce, bounce, bounce.

They never call back. Or their PAs tell me that are always in meetings (despite one incident where the PA forgot to cover the mouthpiece when asking the agent if he was in.) Or my email inbox fills up with thousands of “AUTO-REPLY” messages, cut from a templates about “not right at this time” and “keeping me on file.”

For my entire 28 years of pre-London life, if I wanted a certain job I would just walk into head office, speak to the boss, make him/her laugh, shake their hand, and get the job.

But not in London. They like things to be complicated here. In a funny way, using a CV and an agent to get a job is kind of like dating: there are a lot of games involved as well as masking of true character.

So how does an employer in London see the real me and all my skills instead of my CV in a pile?

Oh my! The last time I asked a question like that, I set up AreYouMyWife.com, went around the world, asked CeCe out on the Ultimate Date and came back to where I started.

So maybe I should set up AreYouMyJOB! Yea! I could make it no rules, worldwide, dare bosses to interview me instead of trusting a potentially BS-CV and some Redbull-chugging, quota-having, sales-driven recruitment agent!

Hmmmmm….. so many ideas here.

But finally history repeated itself. Back when I first got to London I would finally meet a quality recruitment agent in the teeming masses of crappy ones who believed in me as a person, not just as a paper, and told me what my problem was: my CV. It wasn’t “Londonized.”

One day, she invited me to her office and sat me down with my CV and a red pen. Where I might have written “answered phones”, she wrote “liaised with suppliers and operations in a client facing role.” I hadn’t “written a book” but “produced copy in an agency facing role.” I hadn’t been a “CSR” but a “Team coordinator in a front line consumer facing role.”

Systematically, this wonderful agent “buzz-worded” my CV. Because in London, it’s all about titles. With that, she got me onto a playing field on which I never lose: THE INTERVIEW.

I love job interviews. I thrive on them. I treat them like friends having a discussion: I have fun, I make people laugh, and I handle questions and objections and always get offered a job.

Back to the present: Yesterday a recruitment agent who is a friend of a friend called. He sounded bored. He was going through the motions asking me routine questions about my CV when… SUDDENLY! ... and excitedly, he asked: “What kind of bike do you have?”

He had come to the last section of my CV: Hobbies/Sports. The first entry was mountain biking.

Next thing I knew he invited me to his office to show me his mountain bike. Then we went to the pub. Between talking about suspension, fat tires, cranks and Z-frames, (but never mud-guards), this wonderful agent once again tailored my CV to what he needed to get me into the interview room.

I guess it’s not just who you know, but what you know… about bikes.

The Job Hunt

2007-09-10T18:43:00.000+01:00

Update from OurUltimateDate.com
In order for CeCe and I to achieve some of our OUDBOD dreams – and especially Dream#2 – I’m going to have to find a job. Right now, only CeCe has a solid paycheque. Since I came back to London and moved in with her, my income has been the hilly freelancer kind.

To be sure, there are lots of projects I want to work on and launch, but the AreYouMyWife journey put quite a dent in my savings, so topping up the coffers (not to mention chipping in on groceries and rent) is a priority.

And this is exactly what I set out to do initially: Cut the red tape of dating and find situations that test myself and someone else to see how we do as a team.

Some may remember that the AYMW blog not only got me dates and adventure and new friends, but also job offers. How this worked I don’t know, but around the November to December 2006 mark about ten offers of employment from across the world rolled in via AYMW, four of which I would say were serious. They were:

1) Financial Controller for a swank hotel chain in Dubai, UAE.
2) Project Manager for a firm in New Jersey, USA.
3) A volunteer organisation in Kenya, Africa.
4) Reality TV offers to make AYMW into trashy Big Brother competition.

Reality TV quickly got the rejection, but the other offers certainly were interesting. Being the way I am, for the right offer I would have happily decamped to UAE, USA or Africa without batting an eyelash, but I stuck to my original goal of Ultimate Date by July, and then ended up back in London.

CeCe certainly has no qualms about decamping to anywhere in the world, but in our discussions on what to do next we thought staying local for a year and working on OUDBOD together would be wise.

So I presently face a huge challenge: getting back into the London job scene – the same crazy scene that I left last October.

I’ve had to write a new CV (what Americans call a resume). And I’ve had figure out how to make AYMW into a CV entry. That was interesting.

Next I’ll write about an altogether scary experience – dealing with London recruitment agents.

Outside Interference Welcome

2007-09-07T18:42:00.000+01:00

Update from OurUltimateDate.com

I’ve been getting some real interesting emails and phone calls since I launched this blog.

Most people just wanted to say they support what CeCe and I are doing for the next year. My friend Niki made a cool comment on my last post: “This is exactly how ‘areyoumywife’ should end... with a beginning!”

Some people wished to add to our Grains of Sand: One guy offered a free pick-up from Montreal airport in a red Bentley, a UK-based spiritualist offered free “soul consultations,” and some guy in east Europe said he’d give us a free carpet if we got married.

However a couple of folk wished to let us know that they were hoping the Ultimate Date would involve us going into space. (We still might, but just next year. Our relationship needs to learn to walk before it can run, or for that matter blast off.)

Some of the calls I get put 17 digitals on my call display – places like Tunisia, Belarus, Kazakhstan, Uzbekistan, WhoKnowsWhereIstan and India. When I answer, I either get hung up on, enter a fascinating exchange that taxes my Apache-English skills, or sometimes we just swap sounds.

Today the phone rang again, and a woman claimed to be calling from Sri Lanka. The conversation went a bit like this:

Me: Hello?

Woman: … [breathing]

Me: Hello?

Woman: Hello. I want call about AreYouMyWife.

Me: Um, ok. What do you want to know?

Woman: I email. Send photos.

Me: You do understand what AreYouMyWife is right?

Woman: …

For reasons known only to me, I entered “media-explain-mode”. I outlined what I did for the past year, included a selection of highlights from the road and then rounded out with a few zingers and a bit about OurUltimateDate.

I heard more breathing. Then she said “I send photos. Email.”

And it ended there.

So I guess the next logical question is: why do I keep my contact details up if I’m with CeCe? (Hey, I’ll make that my first FAQ question.)

Well aside from taking offers that involve red Bentleys, soul-consultations and Eastern-Block rugs, I still think: “Why not?” In the UK, incoming calls are free.

And most importantly, OurUltimateDate is still based on the principles of my previous blog: Someone in the world might know something, or have a cool idea, or help us with OUDBOD.

In the case of the woman under the impression that AreYouMyWife might be a hook-up site, well… it’s not…

Just yet.

I’m working on that (its Dream#3 in OUDBOD). But I can’t reveal any of that just yet.

And anyway, right now CeCe and I are more immediately concerned about me getting a job.

CeCe and Allan’s Ultimate Date

2007-09-06T18:38:00.000+01:00

Update from OurUltimateDate.com

For a few weeks now CeCe and I have been talking long into the night about what exactly “Ultimate Date” means to us, how to go about it, what we want out of it, etc. In our deliberations and the big picture, we considered three things:

THE PAST -- The AreYouMyWife journey was random and exciting. Many entries got made into the Book O’ Dreams and many Grains of Sand got gathered. I literally went anywhere, anytime, anyway and met so many people. I had no home for a long time, lived out of a bag, and had many adventures. Life was good.

THE PRESENT -- CeCe and I now live together. We don’t have much. We pay rent, buy food and have bills. But we each have big dreams and we want the Present and the Future to live up to the standard of the Past: We want life to be good… unforgettable, even.

THE FUTURE -- A house? A car? Start a business together? Marriage? Children? A trip around the world? New careers? Achieving our dreams? Going into space?

For us, the Ultimate Date is: September 6th, 2008. Yes, that’s one year from the day this site starts, and two years (and change) after I started my AreYouMyWife experiment.

Our main mission: To see if we can remove the “?” from AreYouMyWife?

How we get there, and what happens along the way, is still very much to be determined, and to be discovered. We are both starting with nothing, from scratch, and will have to build it all ourselves.

But there is more…

The OurUltimateDate Book O’ Dreams (or the nifty sounding “OUDBOD” for short) will be open to everyone in the world with an internet connection. Anyone can get involved: suggest, advise, help, etc. And if CeCe and I can help you with your dreams, that works for us too.

At the top of this site is a panel that will be updated as we progress and dream up more stuff. But here are the first entries into OUDBOD:

Dream#1: CeCe and Allan want to tell the whole truth! Read more...

Dream#2: CeCe would love to work in the fashion world. Read more...

Dream#3: Allan wants to keep the AYMW torch burning, but light flames across the world to
help people find their soul-mates. Read more...

Here we go!

CeCe and Allan’s Ultimate Date

2007-09-06T17:24:00.000+01:00

We reached a decision! Finally!

But we won’t tell you about it here on AreYouMyWife.com, because as of this post, the AreYouMyWife blog comes to an end after one year, one month and 13 days.

A big THANK YOU! to everyone who contacted me, commented, called, helped, etc. etc. etc. It’s pleases me to no end to say this and truly mean it: It’s been real!

(But in case you’re interested in what we plan to do, the story continues over here: OurUltimateDate.com)
)

***
BITS OF INTEREST:

VIDEO#64 - The AreYouMyWife story: (Video not working? Click here)

* The whole AreYouMyWife story in a nutshell

* The Ultimate Date concept

* My dating history

Space or Kazakhstan?

2007-09-03T12:41:00.001+01:00

Still no call from Richard Branson or his people, but someone in Kazakhstan did forward me this article about AreYouMyWife. Maybe we should go there? But if we did, we would never, ever, under any circumstances, ever say “Borat.”

Do We Balance?

2007-08-30T13:58:00.000+01:00

In all our back and forth over ideas to put into place by September 6th (and thanks for people who keep calling and emailing, by the way, our ears are still open) CeCe and I have agreed on one thing: Maybe there doesn’t have to be an Ultimate Date. Maybe we’re living it right now.

But then again, having big goals and dreams and wanting someone to share that with was why I started this whole journey, and upon further reflection we also agree that we should do something.

CeCe and I don’t agree on everything, and that is really healthy. The other day, someone suggested this: GO TO SPACE TOGETHER and get married on the International Space Station!

ALLAN’S REACTION: “Hell ya! I’m up for six months of training at NASA, maybe get sponsored by Nike or Gatorade, document it, big blast off and someone actually officially saying ‘T-minus’ (saying ‘t-minus’ is awesome). Amazing idea! CeCe, that’s the Ultimate Date: to be in space in a year.”

CECE’S REACTION: [Typing away on Google] “It costs $25-millionUS to go on the space shuttle, and Richard Branson’s 2009 Galatica flights are all sold out. Plus, who says we’re getting married? Or if we will even be together in the future? And wouldn’t we want our friends and family there, not the Jetsons and Marvin the Martian?”

ALLAN: [With a phone book looking up ‘NASA’, ‘Nike’ and ‘Gatorade’ Sponsorship Departments.] “But … but … space! Blast off! T-MINUS!!!”

CECE: What about paying rent here on Earth this month?

ALLAN: …….. ………… but T-minus :-(

Or something like that.

So yeah, CeCe and I balance each other: I got my head in the clouds, CeCe reminds me that my shoes are on London’s dirty streets.

But she also reminds me (with a wicked smile) that it is up to us to shoot for the stars on our own terms, and that she’s 100% behind the Ultimate Date idea. She’s just “keeping it real”. So that’s awesome.

And here’s a cool expression someone emailed me:

"Love does not consist in gazing at each other but looking together in the same direction" -- Antione de Saint-Expery (1900 - 1944) French airman and author

(By the way, if anyone knows Richard Branson, tell him I’ve got an awesome idea for him! (not free tickets on Galactica, incidentally) My phone numbers and email are – as always – up top.)

No Sleep … and the call from Iraq

2007-08-28T10:36:00.000+01:00

For the past week CeCe and I have not been sleeping much. We keep waking each other up, one saying to the other: “How about doing ________ for the Ultimate Date?”

And our friends and family are asking us: Will we really announce our idea for the Ultimate Date by September 6^th? ANSWER: Yes!

Do we have a concrete idea right now what it is? ANSWER: No!

I keep a notepad by the bed, and I’m running out of paper. Also, so many of you out there reading this right now have sent me emails about… everything. About your dreams, your ideas for the Ultimate Date, your well wishes, suggestions, objections, rejections, and we certainly welcome that, so don’t be shy.

If it were not for the open, random manner in which I decided to run AreYouMyWife… or the fact that I flew by the seat of my pants the whole way… or that a bunch of people all over the world came out to help me … well I – we – wouldn’t be here listening to ideas for the Ultimate Date.

And people have been calling me! From all over the world. I turn my phone off during UK night time, and the voicemails pile up in English, broken English, French and other languages. Ideas, concepts, can you help me? Etc. etc. etc.

But we’re open to input and anything else you care to write us.

Yesterday a man from Iraq called and we spoke for about 10 minutes. About everything. About life. About dreams. And he congratulated me, and said he couldn’t wait to see what the Ultimate Date would be. And I replied: “Me too. I’m dying to know.”

A few posts ago I said would not pass the AreYouMyWife torch just yet. But after the talk with the Iraqi, I’m re-thinking that now. In fact, CeCe and I are re-thinking everything there is to re-think about a concept we have not firmly nailed down. Only “September 6^th”as a deadline to announce is nailed down. Nothing else is. But here is what CeCe and I are thinking right now:

1) It has to be a dream we both 100% believe in, together.

2) It has to stay true to the AreYouMyWife journey on many levels (respect for ourselves and others, room for random events, open to the world, etc. etc. etc.)

3) It has to be realistic – financially, mentally, physically, conceptually – for both of us.

So for now, that’s all I have to add to the last post. Things might change between now and September 6^th. Hey, if someone from Iraq can call and get us re-thinking “passing the torch”, then you better believe the Ultimate Date is still a mystery to us too…

For now.

More soon…

The Big Day (?)

2007-08-24T11:48:00.000+01:00

The new important date in our calendar is September 6th, 2007; the week after next.

But first I need to clear up some misconceptions. A few media outlets reported that CeCe and I were engaged, and I’ve received emails inquiring when the wedding will be. Talk about Chinese whispers! Evidently, some people don’t come to the source for the truth. Here it is from the horse’s mouth:

CeCe and I are currently living together. We are NOT engaged, nor in the short term do we plan to be (anyways, I would want to surprise her). My message with AreYouMyWife has always been the same since day one: I’m taking my time. This journey is not a rush. CeCe agrees.

For those people who like labels, CeCe is my girlfriend. I am her boyfriend. We are going steady. The only thing I proposed to CeCe was the Ultimate Date. And that’s why September 6th is so important.

On that day, CeCe and I will announce what our idea of an Ultimate Date is. (Incidentally, if you’re interested I’ve updated the write up about the Ultimate Date, click here.)

Since I came back to London and moved in with CeCe, lots has been on my mind. To begin with, I have to now think in terms of “us”, which makes me very happy (sorry, I mean us.)

As much fun as travelling the world with no strings attached is, it feels good to come “home”, even if it’s a new home. It makes me think of high school: during session, everyone can’t wait for summer break. After summer break, everyone can’t wait to get news books, new clothes and see friends back at school.

So since my “go anywhere, try anything, live out of a bag” beginning last July, slipping back into a routine feels good. And living with CeCe feels right. For now.

But a routine also means: bills, rent, less mobility. CeCe has a job. Right now, I don’t. And we both have big dreams.

So CeCe and I have been sitting around talking. We’ve been going back to basics. We opened the Book O’ Dreams, we laid out our Grains of Sand, and then we opened a dictionary. We asked ourselves what does “Ultimate Date” mean?

“Ultimate” has about nine definitions, but basically: “decisive, conclusive, final.”

“Date” has over 20 definitions, but in a nutshell “to mark or furnish with a date, an engagement.”

But consider the history: In January I posted up the idea of asking someone out on the Ultimate Date by July 24th as a means to have a stop and reflect point on my random journey. The idea was – like AreYouMyWife – completely open and subject to what happened.

A lot has changed since January. Many of you have emailed me with ideas of what you consider an Ultimate Date… and please don’t stop, because we welcome suggestions.

But “Ultimately” the Ultimate Date is something CeCe and I will come up with. It might be really elaborate, or really simple, or both. However, at this point in our journey we have to consider what is realistic.

For example, the fact that I’ve been using my brother’s flight benefits meant that I could go anywhere in the world for cheap. But CeCe can’t use those benefits, and I don’t want to travel without her. So, if we want to go somewhere, we’ll have to find alternatives to go as a team.

And here are the answers to two questions that we get asked a lot in the media and on email:

1) Are you in Love?

Both Cece and I feel the same: that “love” is a strong word, not to be used lightly. We also believe love takes time to grow. We like each other a lot, to be sure, but you will not exactly find me [Allan] jumping up and down on Oprah’s couch.

2) What about marriage?

Maybe. But not in the short term. Both CeCe and I believe that “marriage” isn’t something to be taken lightly or rushed either (unless you live in Hollywood or Vegas, because then, anything goes.) We also hear that weddings can be expensive. Our immediate concern is the current price of eggs, milk and bread.

More soon…

Back to Blighty Reality

2007-08-18T17:26:00.000+01:00

Well, I’m back in London and I’ve got a mixed head about it all.

For one thing, being back here represents the end of a journey that took me one full circuit around the world. To think that I dropped everything for my experiment, and ended up right back where I started. But now I have: a partner in crime, an unpaved road ahead, although I’m kind of reflective…

About the Past, the Present and the Future.

The Past has been an emotional roller coaster. For almost a year now I’ve slipped out of the human stream of regular routine. I’ve lived out of a bag and by the grace strangers’ kindness. For me, Sunday was no different from Wednesday. I lost track of time and time zones: I knew only day and night. Rush hour was someone else’s problem. So was my bank balance.

And all of that now comes to bear on the Present: I’m going to have to re-adjust to rush hour, banking hours and figure out how to make money to help pay bills. When I first moved to London, that involved going through recruitment agents. Will I have to play that game again? I just pulled my clothes out of my backpack – then I washed, ironed and hung them in a proper closet. It felt weird.

All of this evidently has a big effect on – you guessed it – the Future. What should CeCe and I do for the Ultimate Date? And how to go about it? And afford it? What is a dream, and what is realistic?

With AreYouMyWife, I never had a plan. Now I guess CeCe and I will have to come up with one. But right now – in the Present – the Ultimate Date is in the Future.

So, on a Present – and personal – level, I feel I’ve learned a lot from the Past journey around the world about myself, my wants, my dreams and my abilities. That happens when you have no home, live for the day (or often the minute) and reduce your whole existence to a backpack. Your thoughts become crisp, your actions sharp, your intentions good, because otherwise you can straight-up starve. Necessity breeds creativity.

So while I’m being all philosophical, I think of the AYMW journey kind of like that “trust” test. You know the one: you stand straight up, arms by side, close your eyes and fall backwards. Two outcomes: Either someone will catch you, or you could break your neck.

A few times I fell on my butt. But for the most part a lot of people caught me, helped me, and now, in the Present, and despite many concerns, I am with someone I trust with a yet undetermined Future.

It’s exciting, to be sure. And worrying. CeCe and I are starting with nothing and will have to build everything together. The great thing about CeCe is that she – like me – is happy living out of a tent for long periods of time. So if that is the worst that ends up happening…

For now I will hang my clothes and retire my backpack and turn my mind to the Present. But something still burns inside me: I want the Future to live up to the Past. For those that enjoy this blog, don’t worry, I will still keep writing. In fact, I can give you a flavour of my next post:

Am I in love? And what about Marriage? And our Future?

But Presently, I need to settle into my new home and reality.

More soon…

Go West! (for now)

2007-08-09T23:38:00.000+01:00

I suppose I never thought it would be this way: I meet an amazing woman, then I move progressively away from her on a scale of hundreds and thousands of kilometres – and I’m not even in the military. Mind you, that has kind of been our history.

When I met CeCe for the first time I had a plane ticket to Australia, and after that departure we wouldn’t see each other again until four months later in Thailand. Last week CeCe left Montreal for London, and then I slid out to Alberta, and in the next few days I’ll be going to British Columbia. The other day we did a BBC radio interview on conference call as I headed further west away from her.

Poor girl must be getting a complex: Meet me on the web, date me in person, start a serious relationship, then keep touch through email and BBC radio as I “go west”!

Nevertheless, my promise to show Jason’s family around the best bits of Canada was cemented before I met CeCe… as a matter of fact, even before I imposed a one year cap on this experiment. So I suppose “life happens when you make plans.”

So while we’re using quotes and that, I must confess that has a quality I really admire: she – like me – believes that “absence makes the heart grow fonder” (as opposed to “far from the eyes, far from the heart”.) I cannot wait to get back to London and start plotting our Ultimate Date – which might possibly involve thousands of kilometres more travel as a team!

But for now, I’ll admire the view in front of me, and keep growing fonder of what possibilities will open tomorrow.

Torch Pass? Not Yet

2007-08-02T17:34:00.000+01:00

What a week… but CeCe has left me. And some wonder if I’ll pass the torch.

CeCe hasn’t left me for good, of course, just for a fortnight. She flew back to London today and the poor girl is probably back at her job as I write this. But I’m still in Montreal for a good reason: Dreams.

The past week in Montreal was interesting. CeCe met my parents and childhood friends, we went to a friend’s wedding and we were interviewed by pretty much every French and English Canadian network ever (you can see the media in the sidebar, and I just uploaded a few videos of those interviews.)

Then on one rare quiet day we were walking on Mount-Royal (Montreal’s answer to New York’s Central Park) when a jogger stopped and exclaimed “I saw you both on TV this morning.” We proceeded to have a great conversation with said jogger, and she even gave us some ideas for the Ultimate Date.

Then I got many emails asking: now that I’m done, will I pass the torch? Will I hand AreYouMyWife off to someone else to do the same?

I need to underline here that AreYouMyWife(?) is still an open question. CeCe and I are far from the altar. So much of our road is still open, and certainly we will decide more about how to Ultimate Date in a few weeks. So for now, this site still goes on, and CeCe and I are still open to suggestions from anyone out there who wants to make them.

So why am I staying in Canada? Like I said: Dreams.

Everything I’ve done in the past year – everything – was really made possible by the people around the world who helped me: a ride here, a place to stay there, a little bit of work, etc.

A man named Jason – a builder in England – and I met two years ago when I wore a tie, had the title of “Project Manager” and hired him to work for me. We’ve been great friends ever since, and just before I gave up my place in London to travel the world, I was broke. But Jason gave me freelance work – allowing me to make money and still concentrate on AYMW.

Jason and his family dream of seeing Canada, so for the next week I’m going to show them Montreal, then we are going to drive from Calgary to Vancouver via the Rocky Mountains.

Then I’ll get back to London and decide with Cece what we do next, and how, and the four other Ws. So the AYMW torch is still lit, and still mine… sorry, ours.

More soon…

Haidji's Painting

2007-07-31T02:49:00.000+01:00

It's been awhile since I made a post, but Cece and I have been busy enjoying down time with my family and friends. That, and doing lots of media interested in our story!

But yes, I did get around to giving her Haidji's painting, see below... More updates on what we will do next in the days to come.

If you want to know more about the story of Haidji's painting, click on the image of the woman in white with the scroll:

Full Circuit

2007-07-24T03:08:00.000+01:00

To bring AreYouMyWife full circuit I needed to finish where it had all begun: One year to the day after one full circuit of planet Earth.

Venice Beach, California.

Although I may have “physically” started in London, and asked Cece out on the Ultimate Date 21 days before July 24th, the birth of the AreYouMyWife brainchild happened when I had taken a break in Venice Beach before going back to London.

This blog and experience has been a mixed blessing: despite my own doubts, challenges and financial strife, I succeeded in a round-about way. This is due in large part to the people that helped me, those I dated and the situations that arose all over the world. For many reasons (namely respect, anonymity and brevity) I couldn’t tell the full story in a blog format, so I merely used this space to recount the surface happenings.

If you want to see more photos of Cece and I, click here.

Stuff of Interest

In the AYMW video I used some music by my friend Lirun Rabinowitz. To hear his tracks, click here.

I also used footage and music courtesy of Illusionist Jason Campoli. For more about him, click here.

LA, Vegas and Buses

2007-07-24T03:07:00.000+01:00

I’ve always been fascinated by LA-folks’ attitude towards buses. I took a bus from LAX to Venice Beach. A British family was also on the bus, and they looked startled at the company we shared. There was not one suited person. At least three people were passed out – stirred only by three “last stop!” cries from the driver. At least two passengers had intense turrets syndrome. Many had a lot – a lot – of dirty plastic bags. And dreadlocks.

Having lived in great public transit countries like Canada, Australia and the UK for the past few years, taking a bus in Los Angeles is quite the experience. Nobody here ever takes the bus. Or walks. People drive to get on a Stairmaster(tm)!

Here’s another one: I was to meet a friend in Santa Monica, and told him I would walk along the beach from Venice. There was an uncomfortable pause on the phone. I get that a lot when I come to LA and ask people how far by foot. Or bus. Or subway. Nobody ever knows.

But see, one year ago almost exactly, I was in Venice Beach and I walked to Santa Monica just to clear my head. It was during that walk – after an interesting ‘incident’ – that the idea for AreyouMyWife was born. That’s what walks – and idle time on a bus with a notepad – do: they surface ideas.

So that’s why I had to come back to Venice to bring AreYouMyWife “full circle.”

But get this: I once had a date in Illinois with a fitness instructor called Alexandra. She put me in touch with Josh Tickell – a guy who has created a van that runs on vegetable oil. Without even being home, he let me use his pad in Venice! So a big thanks to Josh.

Presently I’m in Las Vegas. I didn’t take a bus from LA. I didn’t walk either. I “ride-shared” with a stranger from the internet. Hey, it’s what I’ve been doing for the past year.

And no, Cece is not with me. And no, we wouldn’t do “drive-thru” marriage. In a couple of days I will go back to Montreal to meet Cece, and introduce her to my family.

But tomorrow should be interesting.

It’s What Couples Do

2007-07-17T22:12:00.000+01:00

This may sound really silly, but little things – not just erect toilet seats – make me realise that I’m no longer single. I am learning about “compromise” and making “team decisions.”

This past weekend we cashed in on the trip to Vienna that I won. Vienna is a beautiful place, and on our first day we strolled through an open air market place. I was in the game for some new sunglasses… and that’s when it happened…

All my life I’ve worn sunglasses with mirrored lenses. I’m a skier. In summer girls come out. And I worked in security in the mid-1990s. It has always been my natural choice to have mirrored eye wear.

(There was only one minor incident about seven years ago when someone kicked a soccer ball at me thinking I was looking right at them, but in fact my eyes were cocked sidewise at a passing bikini. A ball in the head hurts, but other than that, no other damages.)

So when I instinctively grabbed a pair of mirrored shades at a Viennese stall Cece soon informed me she hates mirrored lenses and I should instead get shades where you can still see my eyes. She added “Who do you plan on staring at?”

I’m not saying she’s trying to change me, but I realised that this small disagreement came down to changing a habit I’ve had all my life and never gave a second thought to. I read somewhere that ninety percept of people always buy the same shampoo… or something… statistical.

Mind you, it goes two ways. Cece owns a pair of sunglasses so outrageously large that I’m positive we could use them at home to steal Satellite TV. I hate them, so I’ve asked her not to wear them in public, though I did propose an alternative: use them as fruit bowls.

So is that what couples do? Change each others’ lifelong habits, starting with eye wear?

Whatever the case, once our weekend in Vienna was up I began to head towards North America while she remained in London. I have a few things to do before July 24th, which you will all find out about shortly.

After that, Cece will cross the Atlantic to meet my family. I’ve asked her to leave her fruit-bowl shades at home, and presently you can see my eyes through my new shades.

More soon…

Matters of the Home

2007-07-13T20:57:00.000+01:00

So I’m currently living with Cece in London as we figure out where to take our lives next. Sounds fun, right?

I haven’t really ever lived with a girlfriend before – though I have always usually lived with female roommates over the past decade. But living with Cece is great. We are both tidy.

Some of you may recall that one of my dates – #10 Sharlene – flew across the Atlantic to test my “Domestic-ability”. She even publicly evaluated me. I did great in some areas, ok in others, and she did have some stern comments.

But one thing I cannot reconcile with any woman – anywhere, ever – is the toilet seat issue. I’m sorry, it makes no sense to leave it down. Toilet seats have hinges for a reason, humans have muscles for a reason and let’s be honest ladies (if not a bit graphic and nasty) you want that seat UP in PROTECTED position if men are targeting that area from a height.

I know this issue has been around since Thomas Crapper was wrongly credited for releasing a porcelain god on the world, probably never realising the war of sexes he aggravated.

But then Cece gave me an out-of-the-blue reason to keep dropping the toilet seat down: We could lose money… “Feng-Shui,” she said.

(???)

(!)

Apparently it’s “bad” feng-shui to leave a toilet seat up because – and I quote – “wealth escapes the house.” Something else about the element of water and flow, etc. Maybe I just don’t get it, but to my mind, unless you’re farmer’s soil, what I put in a toilet isn’t exactly worth much.

Apparently it’s also “bad” feng-shui to sleep opposite mirrors or with your feet pointing at a door. Now this is all news to me, but then – GET THIS! – people can be employed as feng-shui consultants and make money!

I never knew you could make that kinda coin off a protectionist male habit and a theory based on karma. I gotta get in on the BS biz.

Unless of course Cece is just being elaborate in her methods. Maybe she’s training me like a dolphin, but using abstract theories instead of sanctions.

Whatever the case, we are leaving now for our weekend in Vienna, Austria – not to be confused with Australia, where toilets just swirl the wrong direction altogether.

Meet the Parents and SNEAK PEEK

2007-07-10T12:50:00.000+01:00

I was kinda nervous about going to meet Cece’s parents and sister this weekend, but in the end it was unwarranted… (the nervousness that is, not meeting her folks.)

They were real cool and easy going. There were no spot lamps or strange walks with her dad to a tool filled shed or questions that ended with “intention(s) with my daughter.” I didn’t have to swap any live stock. My distance from the British throne was never questioned. It was all good – like a trip to the dentist.

The next day Cece met most of my family; uncles, aunts, cousins, a hyper dog that head-butts groins. In truth, I was more scared of that! My uncle can be a bit mad at the best of times, and his favourite sport is making fun of me in front of an audience. All good fun of course, and Cece is still by my side… for now.

We’re looking forward to our trip to Vienna this weekend, but then next week I’m back to North America and then … gulp…

……

Cece will come to meet my parents!

And as an aside (I love saying that), I need to put some questions to rest.

Many people are asking if Cece and I are … gulp … ENGAGED and stuff… WHOA! Hold your horses. Before anything, Cece and I have to decide what we want to do for the Ultimate Date. Not that I’m Royal or anything, but I can kind of understand poor Prince William and his girlfriend who are constantly asked by media if he’ll put a rock on her finger. Right now I can’t afford much, not even a rock off the ground!

We need time. And we’re going to take it. I’ll know more around July 24^th, 2007.

In the meantime, Cece was goofing around on The Simpsons^tm web-site and – using some “make your own character” thingy – made this picture of us:

Last addition to the Grains Of Sand

Aimee – Date#22 – gave me this book back in January and encouraged me to keep going.

The book is full of good “life tips” like:
“How to drive through a chemical spill”
“How to escape from a giant octopus”
“How to survive an elephant stampede”
etc. etc. etc.

It has diagrams too. This book is definitely going to be another Grain of Sand getting used on the Ultimate Date.

More soon…

A Bit More Story...

2007-07-05T11:11:00.000+01:00

My decision to ask someone out on the Ultimate Date may seem sudden to some, slow to others, but in fact I’ve been mulling it over for almost six weeks now, weighing everything up, mostly while at Fight Camp in Thailand and with Anne and Fred in Abu Dhabi.

And your guesses are correct: It is Cece I’ve asked on the Ultimate Date. And she has said “yes”! (sigh of relief) but on the condition that I finish what I started.

Using a blog as my vehicle has been great in terms of opening myself to the world. On the flip side, there are many stories and threads that couldn’t make this site for reasons of respect, anonymity and more often just brevity. I wrote my posts and made my videos as if they were stand alone episodes, so a lot of backstory did not appear here in detail (hey, does that qualify me to work as a script writer for the WWE or Soap Operas?)

In line with Cece’s wishes, I will release her photo on July 24^th, 2007. And also on that fateful day, I want to treat everyone who has read this blog to a visual gift. But you’ll have to wait til then ;-)

However, if you’re up for a more detailed read, below is the backstory of Cece and I as well as what I still need to do by the deadline.

The Cece Backstory – Somewhat Prophesized

Many of you readers told me that what I was looking for was probably right in front of me the whole time and that I shouldn’t be going all over the world. Anyone who said that is … well, half right.

My first contact with Cece was in October, 2006 – about three months after I launched this site. She read about me in the paper, and emailed me a “choose your own adventure” type date. But at that time I was slammed with so many emails that I replied: “Can you try again in a few weeks?”

A few months later I was in the U.S.A. on follow up dates with Niki and Megan when Cece actually called me. She happened to be in Long Island, New York, however I was in California, so there was no way we could meet. From what Cece tells me now, she pretty much wrote me off at that point.

On January 1^st, 2007, I arrived back in London and was quite ready to shut this site down. I had some major choices to make, but above all, I was out of money, jobless, still paying rent and couldn’t afford to do much, least of all have international dates! To boot, Niki and I’s making of The Diamond was hitting huge post-production walls. I started to think that perhaps my experiment had gone way above my head and bank account balance.

Then Cece emailed one more time, and I agreed to meet her for a simple coffee. It was not – I stressed to her – a “date” (especially since my whole AYMW raison-d’etre was that “regular dating” (movies, coffee, dinner, etc.) doesn’t work. But I couldn’t afford to ask Cece to meet me in Tibet.) When we met I was startled by how beautiful she was compared to the photo she had sent. She had a lot of moving beauty.

Nonetheless, our coffee was just casual and I thought nothing of it (we split the bill, by the way.) Like me, Cece was dealing with a lot of stuff in her life as well, so just for fun I invited her to go to Devon for a weekend to see my friend Liz and her boyfriend (Liz was the one who set me up on a blind surfing date.)

Once again, I never considered Cece as more than a friend, and if you wonder why I never wrote about that weekend in Devon, it’s because there truthfully was nothing to write about. I then accepted an offer from the Portuguese artist Haidji. She didn’t want to date, but she said that she had three surprises for me, so I went to Portugal. (If you want to see that again, watch this video):

Haidji’s second surprise occurred when she dropped a Jasmine bulb into boiling water and told me that my soul-mate was probably right in front of me, but I was too busy to notice her bloom. As she said that, the Jasmine bulb bloomed and made us a pot of tea. I guess she was right. I didn’t know it then, but she had prophesized something.

Inspired by Haidji, I decided to keep AYMW going, despite it being a busy endeavour, and I did find a bit of freelance work to make ends meet. Cece and I did have an official AYMW date – the one where we got to know each other through the London Underground – but my head was still very much elsewhere.

Then I got an offer to go to Australia, and because I once lived there and achieved a lot, I felt I needed to go really far away to make sense of life.

Before I left, Cece said that she would be willing to keep an eye on the lagging post-production of “The Diamond” while I was gone. I thanked her, and was ready to leave London when she handed me a little USB memory stick (I made it a Grain of Sand.)

On that stick was poetry, music, photos and other things she found inspiring, as well as a document saying she was willing to go anywhere in the world for the right opportunity. As such, she challenged my only AYMW rule. But see, I only looked at that memory stick on the plane, and suddenly realised that although I wanted to date Cece again, I was already bound for the other side of the world.

But over that time Cece and I stayed in touch via email. Our friendship grew. She always gave me updates on how The Diamond was going, and whenever I needed information (especially when I was in China where so much of the internet is censored) she would get it for me.

Then she asked if I would meet her in Thailand for a second date, and I did not hesitate to say yes.

Despite all the things that were great and all the things that went wrong in terms of sticking to what I wanted out of this blog, Cece and I’s second date in Thailand on an island was exactly what I had wanted from the very start: The opposite of a coffee – a date where we are raw, have a common struggle, and see each other’s true personality.

When we parted ways again, I pretty much knew she was the one, but I had a major problem: I was broke. I couldn’t afford to fly anywhere. That’s when I contacted the Tiger Muay Thai camp to see about doing an exchange: let me train for free, I’ll make a video for you. Then I managed to earn food and drink by making videos for fighters. And of course, I sat by the Buddhist Temples and thought about everything.

Then three miracles happened.

1) Cece sent me a DVD marked “The Diamond – final cut!” I was in tears. Six months
overdue, Cece had helped me nurse Niki and I’s international project to a conclusion!

2) Almost erasing an email because I thought it was SPAM, I suddenly realised that I had won a trip for two to Vienna because one of my crap, hack videos beat the competition!

3) Anne and Fred got in touch, and offered to loan me some funds to get to Abu Dhabi, where I observed their lives and realised they have what I’m aiming to get one day.

So that more or less brings you until present day. (There is actually a LOT more to the story, but Cece and others involved have asked that for privacy reasons I not reveal everything… not just yet, anyway.)

What Is Left To Do – Book Still Open

But I’m not finished. And – pun intended – I have a few loose knots to tie up.

For one thing, every person I have dated has brought something to me: an experience, a Grain of Sand, ideas, etc. Only two of my dates opted not to accept my AYMW Gift Knot or make an entry in the Book O’ Dreams.

Because I’m no longer dating the Book O’ Dreams is officially closed to new entries… except that there is one person left on Earth who I need to go and see for her entry: Annie, in rural Quebec – the woman who won the Book O’ Dreams cover design competition. She gets the last entry.

Consider this: early on I received a digital camera as part of a major, magical surprise in New York City courtesy of Illusionist Jason Campoli. But it was only on my fourth date with Niki that I learned how to edit videos. We basically got into it by accident.

Now consider that I used that camera and the knowledge Niki and I discovered to make my videos. Those videos got me a few paying freelance gigs, in some cases were used as a service exchange, got me free training in Thailand, won me a trip to Vienna, induced Fred and Anne to help me and so much more.

And lastly, I need to go to the U.S.A. for one other reason. I have to bring AreYouMyWife full circle, and go back to where it all began.

More soon…

Officially Off The Market, But Not Done

2007-07-03T15:18:00.000+01:00

I just got back to London. It feels like I never left. This morning I woke up and had half the urge to semi-consciously put on a tie, walk among hoards to the tube station and go to a cubicle. It was as if I had hit “reset” on my life.

But of course, I haven’t. As I drifted further into consciousness I realised that of course I don’t have a job, or my old house-share. Secondly, my life is still in boxes. Thirdly, I’m in someone else’s apartment. Then I noticed the Book O’ Dreams and a few Grains of Sand on the side table which meant that my trip around the world hadn’t been just a dream.

While I was in Abu Dhabi I really wanted to accept some more dating offers in different parts of Africa, Brazil and even the Yukon. There are only 20 days left until July 24, and – because I’m still in charge of this blog – I could easily move that date forward. In fact, my travelling is far from over.

However I will say this: I am officially off the market. Over the past few weeks I’ve thought long and hard about everything and realised that through this whole mad journey, I have indeed met someone who makes being single look like a waste of time.

To be completely honest, there were times when I thought I wouldn’t achieve what I had set out to do. It has been almost a year since I started my experiment and along the way a lot happened. There were many occasions when I felt that I got off track, however the people and the situations that occurred became omens to continue.

What really put the cherry on the top was my nine days with Anne and Fred in Abu Dhabi. They are an inspiration and already have what I am hoping this blog-experiment will bring me: a happy, balanced couple-ship who said yes to opportunity, moved to the other side of the world and face a bright world full of challenges ahead… as a team.

Oh yeah, and a really major surprise happened. But I’ll get to that in a second. If you want to know what adventures I had in the Middle-East, check out this video:

AreYouMyWife Video#63 – Nine days with Anne and Fred in Abu Dhabi

Anne and Fred each made an entry into the Book O’ Dreams, and received an AreYouMyWife Gift Knot… they also helped me add two new items to the Grains of Sand:

Aladdin’s Lamp

Shi-Sha Pipe

The Surprise...

My major surprise is that I won something. Remember Marnie, the girl who sent me all over Australia on challenges?
Well I made a video based on my weekend swimming with sharks and entered it in a competition, then forgot all about it, until I received an email saying I had won an all expenses paid weekend for two in Vienna!

Now, who should I take? Well I’ll give you a hint: She is a woman I have dated a few times, however in my write-ups and videos she used a nickname and asked to remain “photographically” anonymous on this blog. There are so many reasons why I have decided to ask her out on The Ultimate Date, and I will say more in a day or two.

For personal and work reasons, this woman has asked that I keep her photo off my blog… for now. You might think that because I am officially off the market in terms of dating, that this blog is over. Not quite.

Now that I am back in London, I just need to take care of a few things. My head is still whirling. Over the next fortnight I got some freelance work to make a few quid/bucks, which I need badly to continue… Continue?

Yes, the woman I asked out on the Ultimate Date has also told me that I need to finish what I started. I will explain more in detail shortly... I just to get settled...

More soon…

Evolution of thangs

2007-06-28T07:28:00.000+01:00

I would love to say I get “culture shock” whenever I change scenes but I’ve been travelling for awhile now so often things just seem to bleed together… However some things always sharply stand out.

Just a week ago I was rolling on a mat with sweaty opponents wearing no shirt. We were outside, protected only by a thatched roof. Just standing still made one sweat, so if it rained, we still trained and got doubly soaked. In the gravel parking lot was all our little rented scooters and cracked helmets. The fuel prices in Thailand force Thai people to stack the whole family on a scooter. Yes, that scene was barely a week ago.

Here in Abu Dhabi, I went to the gym with Anne and Fred to train. In the parking lot there were no scooters. There was, however, row upon row of Mercedes, BMWs, massive luxury SUVs, a Lotus, Austin Martin etc. etc. etc. The gym facility is made of marble, has a real roof, is extremely opulent and extremely air conditioned. If you sweat here, you are really trying. And people wipe things down.

To fill a V8 SUV with an 80L tank at the gas/petrol pump in Abu Dhabi costs $25US! And everyone here drives SUVs – perfect for stacking families right? – but most only have one driver, usually on a cell phone.

I just realised that in the past three countries I visited, I have seen an...

Evolution of Transport

My date with a married couple is going really well as Anne and Fred expose me to their new reality as Ex-pats in the Middle-East. There is no better way to get a flavour of how one might live in a land of opportunity than to be the wing man of a married couple who’s SUV can often be found at IKEA and other stores with sexy products for a new home.

Last post I mentioned that “opportunity” was the word of the day. In joking around with Anne – an improv comedian – we went on several tangents. One of those lead to a really big idea. One that involves words and making something out of nothing.

I’ve recently considered my evolution, and another big idea has come along, but the reality is that my money is really low right now.

So in the short term, I’m going to act on that in my decision where to go next.

Date#39 - Opportunity – The Word of the Day

2007-06-24T20:09:00.000+01:00

Date(s) are from: Canada

Location: Abu Dhabi, UAE

If you were to have come to Abu Dhabi just 50 years ago, this is how it would have looked:

In fact, even more recent – in the 1980s – the cartoon cat Garfield would put “the world’s cutest kitten” Nermal in a box marked “Ship to Abu Dhabi.”

But this is Abu Dhabi now:

And in the time it took you to look at this photo, ten new buildings went up.

Down the road is Dubai with its crane infested skyline. It’s not news: The UAE is expanding like mad. People who live here don’t have addresses or ZIP/postcodes; they have PO boxes. Someone better tell Garfield.

Abu Dhabi reminds me on one level of the story of Las Vegas: Someone had a dream to transform a barren place of sand into a full flowering economy. In Abu Dhabi’s case, Sheik Zayed bin Sultan Al Nahayan did so respecting many variables: culture, tradition, business, religion, opportunity and forward thinking.

In a sum, that latter list are the ingredients I would like in an Ultimate Date. I want to dream and take nothing to make something major. But for now I’ll write about the two major reasons I came here: Opportunity and opportunity.

Meet Anne and Fred. They are married. Happily. I hope to be like that one day. Maybe this blog will help. Anne and Fred did something I really respect: They saw opportunity, and went for it. They dropped all material possessions and ties in one country to completely start fresh in another.

For Fred, his opportunity was a dream job. For Anne - a professional improv comedian - she wants to create a stage in the Middle-East... without losing any limbs.

So on one hand, I have the opportunity to live for awhile with a happily married couple who are just sinking into a new reality as a team. On the other hand I have the opportunity to see this region and think: Would I come here? Or we? (This experiment has yet to end in a “we.”)

Here’s one of my favourite expressions, which I use in the Ultimate Date write up: “Treat people as if they were what they ought to be, and you'll help them to become what they are capable of becoming.” --Goethe

My dating premise was always simple: I don’t care if you’re a CEO or a night cleaner, I want to meet someone who will not make excuses if they have dreams, and grab opportunity should it arise anywhere in the world.

But I’m getting ahead of myself. Right now, I’m concentrating on two things:

1) A backup plan in case I stay single, or another open door of possibility if I go Ultimate Date.

2) Anne and Fred have asked me to help them create some opportunities… So I've got some ideas I want to plant with them in the sand. I hope something big will grow.

More to come…

Middle-East Amusement

2007-06-22T04:29:00.000+01:00

Just arrived in Abu Dhabi. Man, is it hot. You can fry an egg on the sidewalk. Not that I have a spare egg on me or anything. Can’t bring eggs on planes. Security reasons.

But what I found the most intriguing about my journey to the Middle-East was my layover in Doha, Qatar. The three letter airport code for Doha is DOH!

I hope never to say DOH after getting off a plane in far flung parts of the world. Especially if someone slips an egg in my bag.

***
Further viewing

And if you were inclined to see some of the videos I made to pay my way in Thailand:

Click here to see the Tiger MMA camp video

Click here to see Magical Ray Elbe’s highlight reel

Training and Plane-ing

2007-06-19T13:30:00.000+01:00

It has been a blast here at Tiger MMA in Phuket, but it is time to go. It is a sad feeling, because I feel like I’m leaving family. But see, the next offer involves a married couple that really wants to try something with me.

Here is what happened over the past three weeks:

AreYouMyWife Video#62 – Moving On From Thailand(Video not working? Click here.)

Further viewing

Today I just posted up the final episode of The Diamond! Check that out by clicking here.

Thinking Outside the Circle

2007-06-17T04:10:00.000+01:00

The other day I made a grammatical error that put me onto a bizarre tangent: Could I ask more than one person out on the Ultimate Date? I more or less dismissed that thought immediately…

That is until today. It came back to mind in a really bizarre way. Then I made a decision to leave Thailand for a date with a twist.

Coming here to the Tiger MMA training camp (and being next to Buddhist temples) has achieved everything I was intending it to: time to train and time to think about the big picture.

You might remember a story I wrote a few posts back about one of our American trainers (his name, incidentally, is Magical Ray) who had “an incident.”

A quick refresh: Ray was in a bar one night when a drunken trainer from a rival MMA camp, plus 10 of his blokes, tried to goad him into a street fight. Ray can really mess people up if he feels inclined – especially stupid-but-bold drunks. But his response on that occasion: walk away. Respect himself, his opponent(s) and a dangerous situation that didn’t merit escalation and a lose/lose outcome in the big picture.

Well today I took another huge lesson from Magical Ray’s class, and then reflected on the question of asking more than one person out on the Ultimate Date.

After two hours of gruelling MMA cardio drills and training, the class was exhausted, but Ray made us stand in a big circle. He picked one class member to go in the middle and – like a pack of hyenas around prey – we each had to step forward and fight that middle person until someone went to the mat, then the next hyena came in, and repeat.

The middle person stayed in the centre – win or lose – until everyone from the circle had had a go at them. We repeated until the whole class had been both the centre-fighter and an outside hyena attacker.

It taught us that you have to find that inner strength to survive just five more seconds… and then five more… and after that, ten more opponents. We all went into double exhaustion, but as a group, we cheered each other on.

Like everyone, I pitted my (limited) moves against whatever each opponent brought to the table; some of them were champion fighters, some novices like me. Didn’t matter, Ray gave us no choice but to face everyone, and I ate a lot of mat.

When I regained the ability to walk again, I checked my email. A woman had emailed me to say that AYMW and myself were “unethical” and I was legally guilty of “false representing myself.” The argument was lengthy, but essentially her case was that because I had stated in my “unofficial mission statement” that “I am happily single and trying a weird, random experiment,” that I wasn’t really looking for a wife so much as a world wide adventure and a hunt for other opportunities. To her mind, I was thus grossly misleading the public – notably single females – with my “brand.”

She advised I rename the whole site, and all associated items (email, videos, music, the lot) to reflect what I “was really doing.” Now I get tons of comments from people with all kinds of opinions about me and this site. And I welcome that. But I liked this email in particular. It was really constructive.

Maybe I don’t know much about dating, and even less about marriage. But indirectly I think of what I’m doing like I think of Magical Ray’s hyena fighting circle: I will never be a pro fighter, but it doesn’t mean I can’t benefit from giving it a go, even if I constantly get tackled.

If I think of fighting like I think of dating, they’re pretty similar: two people locking up with varying degrees of expertise, measuring each other, trying different moves and tactics, defending, countering, possibly trying to dominate or be dominated.

If we take that thought further and think of this blog like an arena open to the world, then I’m in the centre ring getting challenged by many opponents (dates), and there is a crowd watching (readers). I will get cheered by some, booed by others and I certainly hope nobody is betting on the outcome. (Hey, who threw that cabbage at me?)

But despite all the different characters I’ve dated from different backgrounds in often exciting circumstances, across the board all of the women (and one guy) have three things in common after going at least one AreYouMyWife round with me: 1) My friendship and respect 2) An entry in the Book O’ Dreams and 3) An AreYouMyWife Gift Knot.

So I dwelled on that commonality, and again came back to that question I mistakenly stumbled into: Can I Ultimate Date more than one person, or am I being greedy and has AYMW become a product that is not labelled properly or on the wrong shelf at the supermarket?

Over the coming weeks I’m working on figuring out what combinations I need to throw in my own arena. I might get blocked, or countered, but I’ll just keep swinging different things out, because like being in the middle of a hyena circle, there ain’t much else to do but try all your combos and hope for the best.

Then a really cool offer came in. The Tiger Camp boss offered that I stay another month in Phuket and he would waive my training and lodging fees in return for making more videos for the camp. I’ve been here almost three weeks, and have pretty much paid my way making videos for this camp and for some of the fighters. What an awesome offer!

However I had to decline, because there was another offer I just had to take. I’m leaving in four days (this Thursday) to go on a date with more than one person of more than one gender. Destination: The Middle East.

More to come…

The Diamond!!!

2007-06-14T11:47:00.000+01:00

A really cool bomb just got dropped on me!!!

Do you remember that Cece told me she had a surprise for me after our second date? Well it came yesterday and just blew me away. It involves two women with big dreams.

And here’s the story…

It all begins with Niki Nielsen, the woman I’ve had the most dates with since starting AreYouMyWife. A quick re-fresh: Niki is a Rocket Scientist from Utah who dreams of acting, and vigorously acts on that dream, and that is why I got inspired by her.

Last September Niki and I met randomly in Kipling, Saskatchewan, at the OneRedPaperclip house party where I asked her out on a first date. Together we inspired people around us, made a short film called “Kip-Bling”, and then as second and third date ideas decided to try and make another film called “The Diamond”, shot half in the UK and half in the US. That all happened this past November – over seven months ago!

Niki and I are very similar: feet on the ground, head in the clouds. But after creating “Kip-Bling”, the making of “The Diamond” was a huge challenge: Niki and I were co-ordinating a major project with 7,832kms (4,867 miles) between us. All kinds of things went wrong during pre-production and filming, but all the people involved kept going until we hit a wall in post-production, mostly to do with some UK/US incompatibilities and a lot of audio problems.

The Diamond was supposed to be finished this past January, but one delay after another, and I left London to go to Australia in March, thinking that after all we had been through, The Diamond possibly would never get done. I hated the feeling, especially after all the odds Niki, myself and the crews in America and the UK had overcome. I felt like I let them all down. Nevertheless, our dedicated director, Sam George, and other volunteers kept on going in London.

Ok, now back to Cece. Since January and our first date in London, Cece and I have been in constant touch, and she offered to help on The Diamond while I was away. Through another date I had (Kate, the girl next door), Cece recruited a volunteer sound engineer, and post-production of The Diamond ploughed on in London while I was travelling.

Ok, now to Thailand and the Tiger MMA camp. Yesterday in class a big sweaty Jiu-Jitsu bloke was stacked on top of me with his forearm across my neck. I heard: “Al-on Rills, Al-on Rills” being called out from the edge of the mat. I realised that was Thai for “Allan Wills” so I tapped out of the choke and walked off the mat towards the mail-woman on her scooter, holding out a package for me. It was from Cece in London. I ripped it open.

Inside was a DVD marked “The Diamond – Final Cut” !!!

My Jiu-Jitsu opponent – awaiting my return to the mat – could well be forgiven for thinking he had caused me to cry. I was in tears. Then I did a Toyota jump!

So ladies and gentlemen, I have started a new site to house the result of the blood sweat and tears of all those dedicated people all over the world who got involved in Niki and I’s second and third dates.

Stats: The Diamond was filmed in two countries, is 14 minutes long and divided into seven two to three minute episodes. Below is the first episode, and after that you can see the rest of the movie unfold by clicking on the tab in the header. I will put up a new episode every day.

VIDEO - The Diamond, Episode 1 of 7(Video not working? Click here)

The Aftermath

It is during moments like these that I really think “Hey, this may work out.” I’ve had my doubts, not just about the completion of The Diamond but about AreYouMyWife as well. Mostly to do with finances, but somehow things just keep happening, people just keep entering my life and helping me, and I keep going, and miracles like The Diamond happen, even if they do arrive six months after schedule.

I suppose this is what AreYouMyWife is all about: always dreaming, never quitting, living never to regret.

So right now is a pretty big victory for me, for Niki, for Cece, for everyone who got involved. Sometimes we set deadlines in life and blow right past them because things beyond our control affect us. But if you never waiver, you’ll get there, I suppose.

ALSO SEE NIKI'S BLOG: CLICK HERE

The Spin Doctor's Cut

2007-06-11T08:41:00.000+01:00

Remember when I jumped out of a plane with Marnie, the girl who sent me all over Australia on challenges? (Click here if not)

You might recall that the Today/Tonight show was going to do a story on us, and I was a little apprehensive about doing it. But it turned out alright... here is their cut of my date with Marnie:

VIDEO - Today/Tonight Show, Channel 7, Australia
(Video not working? Click here)

Scribbled Scripts

2007-06-10T05:34:00.000+01:00

An old friend I haven’t seen in yonks re-appeared in my inbox the other day. She wrote: “I just read your last few blogs....One thing I learned from watching martial arts movie is that when you fight, it's not to defeat your opponent. It's to discover your own weaknesses.”

Lately my emails have been real blasts from the past! I’ve started hearing from friends I haven’t seen since high school or college. Many of them track me down through Facebook, by Googling my name or they read about me or see me on TV.

And suddenly forgotten memories are coming back, and old stories and “remember-when” moments. It’s been a wonderful infusion to my regular duty of thinking at the Buddist temples and getting beat up in sparring.

It occurred to me that I should maybe dwell a little on the past and my weaknesses, and I suddenly realised that I had completely forgotten about AreYouMyWife Rule#1!

A brief history of rules: I started this site by saying “There are no rules, we make them up as we go along.”

I meant it! Are you in a wheelchair? Call me. Are you ninety years old? Call me. Got children? Call me. Do you live in Siberia with a pet lion in a house full of shrunken voodoo skulls? I don’t care, call me, email me, I will listen to you and date you if I can.

Despite re-jigging the site a few times, my contact details have never moved from the top. My constant message: Here I am, no rules, contact me, whoever and wherever you are.

And wonderfully wild things happened. I dated a guy in Switzerland. I went to Portugal where someone created three surprises for me. I dated a UK sexpert (she gave me “toys”). An elderly woman snuck me on a plane in Canada. While using my former employer’s company vehicle, I stuffed the keys in the exhaust pipe to catch a plane to New York. Etc. etc. etc. (All theses stories are on here, some way back in the archives).

Then six months after Day#1, while I was in Los Angeles, I came up with a sort of self imposed deadline: The Ultimate Date.

Two months after that – at the B&S Ball in Australia – I would go on to create:

Rule#1:
If you would like to one day go on the Ultimate Date with me, you must – like me – be willing to give up everything material to go anywhere in the world if the right opportunity arises. You must be willing to make dreams come true.

In hindsight the reasons for creating these guidelines for myself were the result of my experiences with people and “making it up as I go.” Then yesterday, during a beautiful Thailand sunset, I was walking home from training camp and did my usual routine of ducking into the grounds of the nearby Buddha temples. I decided to crack open the one book I have had with me since Day#1…

The Book O’ Dreams.

In the madness of everything that has happened to me, I had almost taken this book for granted. In a place of contemplation I finally had a chance to really, truly, read the Book O’ Dreams from cover to cover.

I re-lived my entire AYMW dating life, reading each date’s dreams and aspirations in their own unique handwriting. It was one big AYMW montage blast from the past.

Then I thought about Rule#1, and I realised: What opportunities did I have to offer? A credit card debt? A bank account with a low balance? A good job? A house? A sun tan? A body that was getting into tighter shape each day?

I suppose my friend was right: I should not consider my opponents so much as my own weaknesses. So I whipped out a notepad and did an exercise known as “stream of consciousness” where you just start writing random stuff down that is in your head – sorta get it all out and see if it makes any sense.

After a splurge, I re-read, and one note jumped out: The persons who goes on the Ultimate Date with me has to be serious about the Book O’ Dreams, and acting on its contents.

Yes, you read the second word correctly: I wrote “persons” … as in plural. It was a mistake – the sentence was singular. I was writing fast in fading light and realised the error when I re-read the note. I was about to scratch the “s” out, but I stopped.

Even though it was dusk when I scribbled that, it dawned on me: Could I ask more than one person out on the Ultimate Date?

My knee jerk reaction was “Of course not, stupid. There can’t be a three horse finish!” Then I thought “I barely have enough money to worry about myself, let alone even one other person!” But then because in Buddhist temples one is suppose to contemplate things, I let the thought linger a bit, turning it over in my mind. Then the yapping Buddha-dogs were released to get everyone out so the Monks could close the gate.

I pushed the thought to the back of my mind for the moment, because my main worry was the other consideration: how do I create opportunity for the Ultimate Date, provided I even want to ask someone on it?

That might be one of my major weaknesses that will need addressing. More to come…

Make DVDs, Not War

2007-06-08T05:48:00.001+01:00

My secret is out. And I thought it would translate into pain or teasing.

Bear in mind that at first glance some of the people that come to train here at Tiger MMA look… well, a bit different. Not everyone, but just some of the hardcore advanced fighters. Some have mohawk haircuts, and tattoos that cover a lot (I’ve seen images of skulls, bones, tombstones, names, Latin expressions, etc.)

The top guys have the rock hard bodies… Bodies that are trained over eight hours a day to harm other bodies – to be able to snap bones, pop joints and splinter nerves faster than you can spout “what the fu…? Ahhhh!”

So the thought of these hard dudes finding out I run a web-site called AreYouMyWife kind of worried me. I just wanted to stay low key for a bit, get in shape and think about everything.

Then it happened.

This one guy walked up to me yesterday. His entire back and shoulder area is covered with a tattoo of a temple in some jungle, and on the gate spikes are skulls, and loose human bones dangle from trees. His iron shins have some snake like forms around them. His arms are inked with barbwire. He has a blond mohawk which I’m told he dies red when he has a pro fight, though that could be someone else.

He said “I heard about your web-site, I just went to look at it.”

“Yea,” I said, slowly slipping my mouth guard in and thinking “Here it comes.”

“Nice videos. Do you think you could help me make a montage of my fights and training?”

Before I knew it, a whole bunch of fighters were offering to bring me DVDs and VHS tapes – recordings of hardcore training and bouts in blood stained rings – asking if I could put my editing skills to work for them.

It has been over a week since I even made a video for this site, let alone for anyone else. But do you think me stupid enough to say “no” to anyone who knows the Dragon Punch of Death and has R.I.P. inked on their arm?

So while I roll around on the mat during training and tap out of death grips, my little laptop sits by the ring ripping DVDs into files that I can edit some time next week. All these guys have to do now is bring me what music they want to use. I have “Eye of the Tiger” on my iTunes, just in case.

And that’s the thing: the toughest fighters at the camp (from all over the world) are all the most peaceful guys you could meet. Even the Thai trainers – many of them telling me stories about fighting since age nine in dodgy back-alley pits surrounded by screaming gamblers – are also really gentle souls, most are devout Buddhists.

The other night one of our main trainers – an American – went to a bar after camp. (This is a trainer that makes us do crazy drills and then 2,000 sit ups, and start again.) A trainer from a rival MMA camp was also at the bar, and he got drunk and started challenging our American trainer. The rival had 10 guys to back him up. Our trainer did what most advanced fighters do when goaded to fight in a bar; he walked away.

And that’s what they teach here: learn how to walk away and be the bigger person. Fight only when its fair, or sanctioned, and always respect your opponent, yourself and the situation.

The whole vibe of this camp is one big happy family. People are here from all walks of life. There’s a middle aged guy with his wife and kids here, a few corporates on paid anger management getaways and even some “Paris Hilton” type girls who just want to lose weight for bikini season in the OC. All are welcome.

Kind of makes me think about my idea with AreYouMyWife: anyone is welcome to meet me. No matter who you are, we can all learn from each other. But the decision I need to make at some point is similar to what one of my trainers faced: At what point do I walk away from this adventure? Or do I engage several challenges at once? And can I do it respectfully?

For now, I have to go burn more fight DVDs for “Killer*”, “Widow Maker**” and “T-Junction***”.

______________
* Not a real name. I made that up.
** Ditto
*** Ibid

Snakes, Buddha-Dogs and Ladders

2007-06-06T07:33:00.000+01:00

My body feels liked chewed bubble gum.

It has only been three days of training, but these guys don’t take “I can’t” for an answer. They don’t accept face-down gurgling either. Believe me, I tried.

The classes last about three hours, and there are two a day – morning and afternoon. It starts with a warm up, then hard core military style cardio drills, then technique, practice, more drills, and if you have any juice left, a bit of sparring.

Just standing still in this heat makes you sweat, but to engage in this kind of training… well, I go through a lot of bottled water and hardly visit the bathroom. (Too much info? Sorry, had to paint the picture.)

Getting to and from Tiger MMA camp from my shared rented home is fun. I often just walk (it’s about 2-kms) and inevitably walk the “death by horn” gauntlet as every Tuk Tuk driver, cabbie and moped screams “Where you go?” I wave them off, and keep walking.

Sometimes my roommates give me a ride on their rented scooters. Riding two on a scooter feels pretty dangerous (indeed, many students have had accidents), but Thai people put all four generations of their family at the same time on one scooter – plus groceries and a new microwave in a box – and go top speed weaving between traffic! (You can never actually tell who in the pile of bodies is steering or watching the road.)

When not training, I go to the beautiful Buddha temples to do my thinking. However after sunset a massive pack of dogs emerges and chases people off as the Monks gate-off the grounds. The first time, I ran through an empty, grassy field (in my sandals) and the dogs stopped at the edge of the field. I found out later that many venomous snakes live there.

So yea, its a pretty interesting place.

I haven’t really told any of the fighters here at the Tiger MMA camp about AreYouMyWife (AYMW). I think that’s wise. Trainers would probably make me do more push-ups, screaming “You my wife! You woman!” or something such.

I could too easily imagine some hard nut putting me in a scorpion ankle death twist, yelling “AreYouMyBi**ch?” or “AmIYourDaddy?” or whatever in front of everyone. And what if I have to do the Ultimate Date in a cast?

On that note, my one big benchmark is one of many things on my mind lately. That is: am I better off single, or have I met someone who makes singledom look like a waste of time?

Regretfully, there is no way that I could have ever seen or dated everyone that has contacted me from all corners of the globe. At this point, two months shy of July-24, my money is running real low. In fact, since I started this random journey, there have been several occasions when I felt like just quitting and shutting this site down, although this might be the first time you read about it.

I’m living off dwindling savings. Other times I was plain exhausted, or fearing tomorrow, but in the end – and mostly due to people who have come to help me along the way – I’ve kept going. I’ve concentrated on the next five minutes, and it worked out, and I kept going. And now I’m here. In Thailand. Feeling like chewed bubble gum and running at dusk from Buddha-dogs through a snake field.

Someone once said to me (no, it wasn’t a Monk) that AYMW is like throwing a massive party and inviting the world to show up. I thought about that at the Buddha temple the other day. It made a lot of sense, on a metaphorical level.

Think about what happens if you throw a big, open doors, party: Lots of dynamics. Some friends don’t show, others come late, some bring gifts, some steal your stuff, others consume too much and there are always uninvited door crashers who push in and claim to know “your boy Johnny”. Sometimes people hook up, or get into fights, others might pass out or throw up in your toilet.

But then who at your “party” paces themselves in that throng of excitement? Who always has a great evening, mingles, makes sure others are happy (or not hugging the toilet bowl) and is still around to help you clean up the next day, and the day after that, and prep for the next party? Metaphorically speaking.

So I guess AYMW became kind of a filter of sorts, whether or not I intended it. A two way filter, mind you, one that tested my longevity just as much as anyone I dated. Over time, and through shared trials, people’s true colours and ambitions surface.

So Time became another filter, but also a loaded gamble. Some of the girls I really felt a connection with either faded away or got into other relationships (though we are still very much friends). It was my gamble to take, knowing that remaining single was always the worse (or best?) that could happen.

I’ve shared this journey with a lot of people: dates, helpers, friends, and of course anyone who bothers to read my posts or watch my videos or comment or call or email me. As a result, the Book O’ Dreams was born, and the Gift Knot, and the Helper’s Roll of Honour, and the concept of an Ultimate Date, then the Grains of Sand. These became my treasures.

There is, however, A LOT of stuff that happened along the way – including anonymous dates, or complicated situations, or layered stories – that never made this site… Out of respect to others, or lack of time, or whatever.

So I guess the big, overall question I want to answer over the coming weeks is: Am I better off single, or do I want to share all my treasures with someone else? And if so, who?

Damn, those Buddha-guard dogs are yapping again. I better go back to camp – avoiding the snake-infested field – and get thoroughly chewed up and thrashed instead.

More to come…

Fight or Flight?

2007-06-04T09:53:00.000+01:00

Cece left yesterday to go back to London. It was sad and hard to say goodbye. Our first week in Bangkok and on that remote island seemed like years ago, however our final week on commercial Koh Samui flew right by, as if it were a day.

On our last night together we were goofing around playing “Thumb Wars” and then Cece – the ever peaceful girl that she is – proposed something different than war and we took this photo of our hands:

So what now?

Presently I still have outstanding dating invitations in India, Japan, several countries in Africa, Europe, South America, USA and even up in the Yukon. I still have two months until my self imposed Ultimate Date deadline.

However, after my second date with Cece, I’ve decided to take a little break from dating and have some “me” time.

I really have a lot to think about. So I decided to go pick some fights using a lot more than my thumbs. I’ll explain.

Back when I lived in London and was on the corporate treadmill, three things kept my body and mind healthy:

1) A good diet – reliant on time spent at fresh markets, health food stores and a lot of prep work in my nice, big kitchen. Oh yea, and Tupperware.

2) Rollerblading twice a week with the London Street Skate Crew.

3) Mixed Martial Arts (MMA) training four nights a week with Pancrase London. (I even took a date to training one night.)

(By the way, don’t ever ask me to chop timber boards, or perform a devastating kick from a crane stance, or call Mike Tyson a girl or develop cocky loose lips towards a bloke double your size in a pub thinking I’ll back you up because I am not – and never will be – a pro fighter. I lose very often (especially if my sparring partner is a Brazilian, South African, ex-KGB or east-end Londoner.) I just like MMA training.)

Seven months ago, I had six abs. Now I have two abs near the top of my stomach region, and four abs that consolidated into one big ab below, and this bottom group looks like they want to do a hostile takeover on the top two.

So I don’t feel real physically or mentally sharp right now. On top of which I really have a lot to think about … (Wait, I said that already, didn’t I? Yes, I did. Right before the “pick fights” bit and that three-point list.) Yea, my brain doesn’t feel as quick as it used to be. I need to make a lot of lists as of late, kinda like George W. Bush … when he… talks… haltingly. What was I… talking about? *blink blink*… Oh yea…

Here’s a few things on my mind at the moment… in three-point list form, so I don’t forget:

1) Have I met “the one?”

2) If yes to (1), am I in a financial situation to go for The Ultimate Date? (Unless I win the lottery, the answer so far is no.)

3) Presently I’m homeless. Where in the world do I want to live? And why? And with who? And can I?

And so on…

So I made a decision: I want to think a lot. And get back in shape. At the same time. I want to blink less, look good and once again be able to retain lists in my head.

After Cece left, I flew to Phuket island and signed up indefinitely at the Tiger Muay Thai MMA training camp. This is the place where the hard nuts from Pancrase London train.
I’m also giving the fruit vendor near my rented house a good trade (to the detriment of takeaway joints) and when I’m not fighting, or eating right, I will spend a lot of time at the Buddha temples just down the road, thinking about life and (pun intended) calculating my next offensive moves.

The Hard Road

2007-05-31T07:06:00.000+01:00

In our search for acclimatised air in the face of muggy, sleep-depriving heat, we left our lovely little remote island. The journey – on motorcycle, boat, pick-up truck, train, Tuk Tuk – started at 6am and took 24 hours of hot, sticky, thirsty, baggage lugging travel.

Up until 14 hours into the journey, we just kept thinking: “By late tonight, we’ll be in a room with air conditioning.”

But no.

All calculations being right, we were to take an evening ferry to Koh Samui. That is, of course, if our “latest edition” guide book had had the correct location of the ticket operator and the correct “final” departure times.

But no.

We narrowly missed the last ferry. We thought about taking an (unsafe) night ferry six hours later, but opted instead for a budget room and an early start the next day. Then a wheel on Cece’s baggage broke, so I carried it mule-style believing the woman who told us our accommodation was a 10-minute walk.

But *#&^ no!

Thirty long minutes later we found the place, crashed, only to rise the next day at 4am, fend off scamming Tuk Tuk drivers, and make the 7am ferry.

Twenty-four hours after we had set off from the remote island, Cece and I made it to the backpackered-out Koh Samui and celebrated with a shower. Then we walked around. What a different vibe! From a remote island with nothing but locals, to the boom-boom, hard sell, hustle of Chewang Beach, Koh Samui.

Here’s a little visual for ya:

AreYouMyWife Video #61 – Part 2 of 2 – More Island Tests(Video not working? Click here.)

Chewang Beach is nuts. Techno house music starts pumping at brunch time, but breakfast is served all day. No matter where you go – and how often you say “No!” – hawkers just keep trying to sell you cheap s**t.

Anything and everything is for sale – clothes, bags, taxis, beads, crap, fruit, massages, a picture with a monkey, an iguana, or if you’re into more sinister things like narcotics or lady-boys, hey, whatever. Just haggle.

No matter where I travel in the world, I’ve always tried to work out methods to make hawkers leave me/us alone.

1) Wear a t-shirt or bill board saying “Leave me alone! No buy!” in the local language.
2) Print business cards with my picture and the words “Leave me alone!” in local language. Hand them out.
3) Take whatever flyer someone hands you, and exchange it with the next flyer person. Repeat.
4) Use the soccer red card system like in the video you just watched.
5) Try to sell them something before they have a chance to speak.

All jokes aside, I do respect Thai hawkers. These people work 28 days a month, 14 hours a day for their families, and are at heart peaceful folk. They never give up. Even if they see you say “no” to 100 other hawkers, they still ask you to have a look at the same crap. You gotta respect that.

So what about Cece?

Yes, enough about the peripheral and more about my date Cece. This past little journey has been a real eye opener. To go through a 24 hour series of transport mishaps, Tuk Tuk hustlers and two pre-dawn starts with broken baggage is a great way to see someone au naturel.

Here is what I have learned about Cece:

1) She’s low maintenance.
2) She’s good with money when money is tight. She can haggle.
3) She can go through many trials and never lose her cool.
4) She does her homework, makes lists of options, thinks five steps ahead – great to travel with.
5) She’s willing to go anywhere in the world for the right opportunity.
6) She’s street smart and patient.
7) She can enjoy long silences.
8) She thinks of others.

And on a physical level, here’s something: When we were at our sweaty, nasty, hungry, thirsty worst she still looked beautiful and never chucked a hissy fit. She doesn’t care if she chips a nail. Once we arrived and had a chance to clean up, she came out looking stunning as we went to have a well earned restaurant meal.

Presently, I’ve started filling in her assignment; the book “All About Me”.

So yeah, Cece is a really amazing girl. And she claims that she has another big surprise for me – something to do with the Book O’ Dreams – but she said I have to wait a little bit longer.

I’m blown away by Cece. But she goes back to London in three days, and as for me… well I think I’m going to make a big decision soon.

But first I gotta work a few things out.

More soon…

Islands Are Trouble

2007-05-27T18:00:00.000+01:00

Well the plot certainly does thicken… Cece and I got tested on all levels going to that island. Now we are on another island – one significantly different to where we were – and both the challenges of getting here and accepting some new realities had to be faced as a team.

I had enough time on train, Tuk Tuk and boat to chuck this together:

AreYouMyWife Video#61 – Part 1 of 2 – The Island Challenges
(Video not working? Click here.)

.........

2007-05-26T12:01:00.000+01:00

The Test of Tests

2007-05-24T05:04:00.000+01:00

Now this is what I like: the “test-of-true-colours” dating. If you really want to get to know someone, go with them to an island from the stone age. Just getting there was an adventure!

We took an overnight train (with bunk beds in a private carriage) from Bangkok to Trang. Every time we dozed off, the train lurched, jumped or halted and we were shot abruptly from sleep into “earthquake-about-to-hit” frame of semi-consciousness.

Then we get to Trang, fend off a million Tuk Tuk offers and hop in the back of a pick up truck with everything but live chickens.

Two hours later we reach a jetty of some form and bargain with a delivery boatman to take us the last leg. Once on the boat, we chug along brown estuaries until we reach our island, then have a motorbike driver with a side car take us to our bungalows.

Now the reason Cece chose this island was because it was away from all the tourist traps of Thailand. It was real. Really real. And she wanted me to be in a peaceful frame of mind when filling in my “All About Me” book (see this video). But she had another reason.

Initially, when Cece came up with the idea of a second date in Thailand, she wanted us to volunteer as a team helping some poor village build something or teach English or something like that. But amazingly, to become a volunteer takes a lot of paperwork, 60-90 day background checks (in my case three background checks in my three past countries of residence), and a large some of money.

So because we lacked time and money, we decided to take our business to an island that had been badly affected by the Tsunami of 2004. And on top of which, it was monsoon season. So we felt good about our modest contribution to the path less travelled. We felt our tourist money was going to people who really needed it.

Our island was a mess. The beaches were littered with stuff, and there were only three other Dutch guys around. In our backyard we had water bison and a burning rubbish pile. In front, a littered beach with muddy water. So it wasn’t picturesque, but hey, it’s all about the adventure, our contribution and we were going to make our own fun.

Hence we rented a scooter and bombed around. The people here were genuine and friendly, unlike their counterparts in hustle-bustle Bangkok, smiling with an urge to sell. Homes were handmade form rubbish, chickens and cats ran rampant, but we felt like Indiana Jones.

So all well and good except for one thing: The kinda heat we faced even after sundown was that humid, sticky, muggy heat. Even if you sat still, you got itchy and sweaty. Our drinking water went urine warm. I couldn’t concentrate to write in my “All About Me” book. We kept driving around the island on our scooter just for the breeze!

Then we found out that the our bungalow did have electricity… from 6pm to midnight, when they ran a generator. However we couldn’t get a comfortable rest because being in our bungalow was like being in an oven.

The upshot was what I said at the start: All the elements of this date on a stone age island were the perfect ingredients to test what we were made of… see each other at our worst.

However after a few days, we decided to go to another island that had electricity, a clean beach and air conditioning.

Because as much fun as this is, we don’t want to kill each other in a heated rage.

Date#30 - Part II

2007-05-22T02:58:00.000+01:00

Location: Thailand

Date is from: United Kingdom

(This is the second date Cece and I have had. Read about the first date by clicking here.)

Trains in chaotic cities, a search for the inner beauty, special assignments… I’m seeing a theme here with Cece. Here’s a snap of what I’m on about:

AreYouMyWife Video#60 – The Inner Beauty in Chaos I’ll be out of communication for a few days, unless you can call a coconut.

Serenity Now

2007-05-17T01:46:00.000+01:00

Crazy things happen when you least expect them. Here’s what’s up: Shanghai, Date#38, and a very near future on an isolated desert island.

Big City Life

I have been enjoying Shanghai as much as one can enjoy being in a place where car horns blare, the smog is thick and clusters of pedestrians have no right to any way. I’ve seen the poor areas, cruised through knock-off alley (got Ray Bans for $5, “special friend price”) and have been dropping by the “must-see” landmarks.

Shanghai has a lot of really tall buildings. A lot. You gotta put 20-million people somewhere, I suppose. At night, these buildings get lit up wanna-be Las Vegas style. All their big billboards sport the same white American celebrities. There are many Starbucks.

Shanghai doesn’t feel like China, it feels like a big China town in New York or London. They even have a “Times Square” here.

But this is a city of many hidden paradises. Down a dingy alley – the kind of dingy alley that movie set designers always use for muggers, junkies and Batman fight scenes – is where I’m staying.

Behind a big black door is the most stunning three floor apartment with high ceilings, hardwood floors and a homely décor. This beauty of a flat is property of one Tim – the brother of a friend of Marnie’s whom I met after jumping out of a plane. That’s just the way my life seems to be going right now – Jump out of a plane in Australia, hours later meet someone to stay with in Shanghai. It all adds up, no?

Tim has allowed me run of his place even though he’s away on business. He sent a car to get me at the airport, and had his maid greet me with a spare set of keys.

Tim works in the media, and intends to have one of his colleagues run a story on me in China’s largest English newspaper. That may sound cool, but if you consider that no one in China is allowed to even see AreYouMyWife.com, well, I’m not so sure. (If you are reading this right now, let out a William Wallace like “Freeeeeedom” cry. Go on.)

As soon as I get to a country where the government doesn’t block all the web-sites I need – or for that matter Skype, or MSN, or anything else “evil” – Tim is going onto the Helpers Roll of Honour. And now about my date…

Date#38 – Serenity Now

(This date asked that I don’t use her photo and wants to be called “Y”)

Location: Shanghai, China

Date is from: Canada

Now here’s a cerebral rubix cube for you: If Chinese Big Brother don’t like the likes of me, and “Y” lives in Shanghai, how did she know how to find me?

Vancouver. Canada. Heard me on a radio show while she was on vacation. Y has that go-anywhere, do-anything attitude. She speaks Swahili! Now that’s awesome.

Currently she lives in Shanghai on business, but aims to get out and go to – as she puts it – other “more desirable” parts of the world on more assignments. She is a woman after my own heart, and one who falls well into the notion of the Ultimate Date.

However a month ago – when I decided to get a plane ticket to Shanghai – she emailed me to say that she had started dating someone, nonetheless she would be willing to hang out as a friend and show me around.

So that is what we’ve been doing: Walking around, wiping pollution out of our eyes, attempting conversation over a concert of horns, all the while trying to avoid being run down from any of 360 degrees. It really is romantic.

She has tried to show me the hidden paradises of Shanghai, such as a restaurant on a little island in a patch of green, a bar with the best view of the city and last night a massage parlour.

Now when I think of massage parlour, I think of stories I’ve heard. A friend of mine claimed to have once gone to a massage parlour in China where he was guided to a grimy room with a mattress on the floor, lotion by side and a neon light having a flicker fit. Not really my scene. But Y took me to a legit place, where we wore identical silk PJs, and both got lovely Shiatsu done side by side.

There were, however, a few occasions when my masseuse – in de-kinking my quadriceps – skimmed close to my willy wonka zone, but I put my paranoia of a neon light kicking off to rest, nothing R-rated happened and now my muscles feel like a million bucks (or several gazillion-tera-billion Yuan at current exchange rates).

But then I received a really awesome date offer…
***
Y made her rightful entry into the Book O' Dreams and received an AreYouMyWife Gift Knot, which I hope she hasn't sold on the hawker markets of Nanjing street.

I also picked up a new Grain of Sand from the Museum of Shanghai; an ornate magnifying glass with a jade handle. It has many possibilities for the Ultimate Date.

Serenity Now

I had agreed to meet one of my former dates in Thailand at some random stage along my random travels, and that became a reality when I told her we could meet in Bangkok this Friday, if she wanted. Then after watching the last video (#59 – What if AreYouMyWife was a video game? (see post below)) she sends me this:

“So you want to play a game huh? Well after Bangkok, I am going to take you to a desert island with no elecricity, you’ll have some quests to perform, and I’ve got a major surprise for you. Oh, and bring your little Book O’ Dreams.”

A desert island. No electricity. No connection to the outside world. No noise.

Hmmmmm….

As I type this post in a beautiful hidden apartment in Shanghai, with blaring horns for ambiance, a limited connection to the outside world and Y telling me how much she can’t wait to transfer, an isolated desert island in paradise seems like a really, really, really good idea.

So I guess I’m going to Thailand!

What if?

2007-05-15T02:49:00.000+01:00

My flight to Shanghai took 14 hours. So while on the plane, I pondered an email I once received and made this:

AreYouMyWife Video#59 - What if?

Currently I am thrashing my way around Shanghai, a city that makes London look like a quiet fishing village. I meet my date tonight.

The Fly On The Wall, And Shanghai

2007-05-13T07:25:00.000+01:00

One thing about this journey is that there are so many stories I don’t get to tell about the behind-the-scenes. Well this one must be told. Then I’ll tell you about China.

A few posts ago I wrote about Angeline. This wonderful woman drove for two days to come and get me in Brisbane and bring me back to Sydney in time to meet Marnie and fling myself out of a plane.

Angeline did this without even aspiring to be a date. She wanted an excuse for a road trip, to hang out with me, and have a laugh. I cannot underline how much she has meant to me: driving me around, letting me stay with her and going out of her way for me. One day I hope to return the favour.

At one stage of the road trip we even got to stay at her parent’s place: a hand built shack in the woods, with no electricity, and the grounds littered with enough junk for an inventor to build a spaceship.

Angeline also got to become the “Fly on the wall”. She watched me when I was dealing with the TV show, when I had a business meeting that turned into yet another aspiring producer trying to convince me to make AYMW into a reality TV show, and she also got to see me “in action” with my past.

I once lived in Sydney (for 16 months) so I had a lot of people to catch up with: old friends, roommates, drinking buddies (now with mortgages). Angeline got to meet and hang with all these characters from my past. Then one day she took me to relax at a Buddhist temple and on a beach, and we just enjoyed the sounds of the ocean.

For all intents and purposes, it was a perfect date: we survived a night in the woods with no electricity, and she got to see “the real” me: stressed, relaxed and with people who know me well. Except that it was never a date.

Nevertheless, Angeline became the third person in AreYouMyWife history who was not a date, but who got an AreYouMyWife Gift Knot and make an entry into the Book O’ Dreams.

Angeline, thank you so much for everything, for your unconditional friendship and kindness.

So Why Go To China?

Now here’s a brain cluster for you. I just left a country and arrived in a city – both with the same population. Twenty million people in Australia, and the same in Shanghai! That’s mental.

Sydney is one of the most beautiful cities in the world. Shanghai… well, if you’re into lots of horns, chaos, bikes, smog and greyness, then there you go. Oh, and I have internet but most web-sites I need (including AreYouMyWife), are blocked. Big Chinese Brother don’t like people blogging. Block, block.

Oddly enough, I can post to my blog (as you can tell), though the blogger page is all in Chinese, and I have guess what means what. Evidently, if you are reading this right now, then I have pushed the right characters. I cannot, however, add links, change the colour of the font, or post videos. Or, for that matter, use Skype to receive phone calls or download Mozilla Firefox. All banned.

So why did I come here? Why else: for a date.

If we go back to the time when I was in Adelaide (when a car named Frank broke down for the fourth time on the way to Perth, then ran on prayers) I was thinking about where to go next after Australia. Two invites struck me: one in Tokyo, one in Shanghai. The latter was cheaper, so I booked a ticket. Simple.

Except… well, a lot can happen in a few weeks. The woman I am to meet here is apparently dating someone else now, though she did offer to show me around on a friendly basis. However, right now, she is away on business for a few days, so I will have to entertain myself.

The last time I waited on a woman was in Perth. She didn’t show up (though she had good reasons) and in waiting I met Marnie. So who knows what is next.

One thing I worried heavily about was where to stay in Shanghai. I looked some places up on the internet, and was told by everyone to get the locations written out in Chinese, because cabbies don’t speak English.

But here is the kicker. After Marnie and I jumped out of that plane, we went to have some beers with her friends. One of her friends has a brother – a journalist – who lives in Shanghai. One thing lead to another, a bit of wine, blah blah blah, and… well…

I got off the plane and a driver was waiting for me. He drove me to the journalist’s house, where the maid let me in and gave me a spare key! The journalist is away for a few days, so now I’m going to figure out how to kill time in Shanghai until I meet my date… if I do at all…

My breakdown of the micro-economics of Shanghai

After going to several Shanghai supermarkets, I believe that I can tell you what would be the best and worst job to have in Shanghai when coming out of high school:

Worst: Gillette razor and shaving cream sales rep. I cannot find shaving blades or cream in any supermarket. Aftershave lotion, yes. All products that involve the steps before applying aftershave, zilch.

Best: Anything to do with bikes, car horns or a combo of the two.

Finally Meeting M…

2007-05-10T14:05:00.000+01:00

(To see the first challenge in Perth, click here)
(To see the second challenge in Cairns, click here)
(To see the third challenge - kissing a Blue Fish - click here)

M’s previous challenge put me 30 meters under the sea and involved sharks. Her latest challenge put me up 14,000 feet (over 4kms) above the earth, but also involved sharks. But both times, the good kind of sharks.

A few days have past since I met M in the person, or posted an update here. Let’s back up a bit to last Friday, when I was on the Gold Coast, Queensland. I had to get to Sydney by the Sunday to meet M and execute her fourth (and last?) challenge.

M’s Challenge#4
Mr Wills I am in truly awe
You have blitzed each challenge above each you have Soar
So the treasure hunt close is near
The final challenge will prove you have no fear
I require you seize life for all it is worth
So I have decided to meet with you above this earth
The question I have is areyoumywife just all talk
Or are you prepared to walk the walk
You have soaked up all life has like a big sponge
So meet me at midday to take the plunge

I get this phone call from the Today/Tonight show asking if they can interview me. I agree. Three guys turn up (journalist, sound, camera) to do the interview, and afterwards I expect them to leave. But then they ask:

“How extreme are you? What will you do for a date?”

I was whisked away to Surfers Paradise, to a place called Funtime park, and the gang asked me to go on three rides to really test the iron-cast-ness (is that a word?) of my guts and my AYMW ethos to try anything.

Legs wobbling, guts churning, I figure they got their scoop, and hope to go on my merry way without vomiting in the 24 hours that divide M and I.

But no. Sharks like a feed. These guys only had a taste.

The producer asked when and where I was to meet the mysterious M. I hesitated to reply. Then they ask if they can film us meeting.

Suddenly I had a flashback of a date that almost went very wrong. Many months ago I dated the lovely Gemma in London. After interviews with two networks I found myself fast talked into having them roll camera when I would meet Gemma for the first time. Thankfully Gemma and I had more dates and are still great friends, however after that incident I vowed never again to get talked into having media along on dates, even if my dates agreed independently. It’s all about the r-e-s-p-e-c-t.

Presently the Today/Tonight show got in touch with M. M was willing to talk to them if she could stay anonymous – something that I always guarantee on this web-site. But the T/T producer insisted on “breaking the story” and wanted her to talk to the cameras.

Then I got that text from M: “Oh my God, this is out of control.” She seemed to have many hungry fins circling her now. Phone calls were going back and forth in an intense rally, and finally M – who you can now know stands for Marnie – agreed to meet with the cameras, and reveal her identity. But she was smart about it.

First off, it was agreed with the show that Marnie and I would meet hours before cameras rolled, and stage it later. Secondly, Marnie had been trying to set up her fourth challenge for me, and then got the show to organise what she was trying to plan anyway.

Like the sharks I swam with on the Great Barrier Reef, these TV sharks were nice sharks. Big loveable dogs with teeth. I liked them, and so did Marnie. Today/Tonight is awesome. And I like them even more because they got Marnie do something she swore she would never, ever, ever, ever, ever, evvvveeeerrrr do again…

Here is what went down, pun intended:

AreYouMyWife Video#58 – Meeting M and her fourth challenge!!!
(Video not working? Click here)

Aftermath

I really liked Marnie from the day we started talking – which was over a month ago now, when I first got to Perth in a dodgy car, stayed with a stranger with the awesomest name in the world, and sort of got stood up. Marnie and I spoke often, and her “get-to-know-me-through-challenge” dates were unreal, so I felt like I knew her spirit well before we met.

Her friends told me: “You and Marnie are cut from the same mould.” And it was true.

Nine months ago the biggest threat to my health was the potential of a paper cut from a jammed printer, leaning over a shredder with my tie, stubbing a toe while kicking the photocopier or not minding the gap on the Underground while on the way to it all.

I was on Groundhog Day Highway. One day I just cracked, jerked the wheel, crossed lanes, cut people off, took a random exit, and kept driving without looking at the fuel gauge, speedometer or any directional signs.

Marnie liked that, and her initial call from the office was to just pat me on the back while in the background some paper jammed in the LAN printer. Then we talked. Really talked. And we inspired each other, et voila, four challenges and many miles later, we meet.

But where it got a bit weird for me was when the media folk started trying to make a story out of us, asking Marnie to lose her anonymity. In the end all sides won: they got a show, we got something cool organised for us.

But all of this Marnie business caused some muddled thoughts. The whole point of AreYouMyWife initially was to take the artificiality out of dating, to see someone’s true colours, to raise the bar and keep going, to inspire and be inspired and ultimately find some who “gets it” and makes the single life look like a waste of effort.

What has become of AYMW since that day I veered off Groundhog Day Highway without looking at the fuel gauge is something completely unreal; a journey that owes its awesomeness to the random sum of the people that have come into my life – be they dates, media, or anyone else.

Then after the initial glow, the reality: I’ve had the time of my life with Marnie, but she lives in Melbourne, and I currently live wherever my pillow goes down. I leave for China tomorrow. So how realistic is AYMW? My goal has never wavered, but the plot – the road – keeps changing. Its changing as you read this sentence.

So for the first time in a long time I actually took my eyes off the random road and had a good long stare at the AYMW fuel gauge. I checked my bank and credit card balances. I looked at a calendar. I’ve counted the days between now and July 24. Do I have the fuel – the funds, the patience, the ability – to keep going? And to where? Should I turn back? Should I stop? Will any of this work?

Yes, a lot on my mind. No, no guarantees. Like parachuting, I make adjustments, but enjoy the view and realise the risk.

So for now I have an amazing new friend in Marnie, someone who “gets it”, but she left Sunday to go back to a Monday reality. She probably has a paper cut by now. And now I want to set her some challenges. But right now I’m catching a plane to Shanghai.

And because of Marnie, I now have a place to stay in Shanghai. What a twist. And then there is the story of Angeline, the woman who helped me get to Marnie.

Whoa, I’ve said a lot. Guess it was due. But I’ve got a little smile on my face right now. Cause I feel that all of this madness is working. Better put my eyes back on the road for now. The fuel gauge can wait.

More soon…

***
Marnie made an entry into the Book O’ Dreams and received an AreYouMyWife Gift Knot. I’ve got some ideas about what purpose those knots will serve in the future.

***
LINKS
Funtime Park in Queensland: www.funtime.com.au
Sydney Sky Divers: www.sydneyskydivers.com.au

The Path to M

2007-05-05T13:03:00.000+01:00

Here is a text message I received from M:

“Oh my God… this is out of control.”

I agree. On Friday I was taken to Surfers Paradise to go through three major adrenaline tests – tests supposedly aimed at getting me ready to meet with M. And then a few things happened just in the past 24 hours that have made me think hard about much of what I’m doing and how much control I still have over what I do.

But I’m getting ahead of myself. Right now it is Saturday night in Sydney, and I just arrived from Brisbane after a two day road trip with Angeline – who in the last post I called “X” because I was respecting her anonymity until she said, “Go ahead, use my name!”

And at the moment I type this, my thoughts are very much on anonymity and respect. In less than 10 hours I will finally meet M in person. We are going for breakfast, then as a team we have to face something together, something that had made her text me “Oh my God… this is out of control”, something to do with the people that put me through the three adrenaline tests in Surfers Paradise.

And I can’t talk about what “this” is right now… out of respect. But in a few days I’ll write about what it was like to meet M, the woman of many challenges, as well as our challenges and the internal struggle…

Oh, and there is China to think about as well.

Here is M's next challenge:

Mr Wills I am in truely awe
You have blitzed each challenge above each you have Soar
So the treasure hunt close is near
The final challenge will prove you have no fear
I require you seize life for all it is worth
So I have decided to meet with you above this earth
The question I have is areyoumywife just all talk
Or are you prepared to walk the walk
You have soaked up all life has like a big sponge
So meet me at midday to take the plunge

Meeting of strangers to meet more strangers

2007-05-02T05:22:00.000+01:00

I don’t know quite what to make of this situation. But I’ve always believed honesty is the best policy.

I’ve spoken to the mysterious M a few times and asked the obvious question: “When do we meet?”

I have covered many miles executing her challenges. I am currently in Gold Coast, just south of Brisbane, and M is Melbourne, about 1,714 kms (1,065 miles) away.

She said she would fly up to meet me in Brisbane, but then work got busy and she couldn’t make it. She did say, however, that if I could get down to Sydney by this Sunday she could fly up for a few hours to meet… a few hours!

One thing is clear; M is a busy lady. She lives her life like she lives her business: every minute spoken for.

Now enter a girl we will call “X” who lives in Sydney. Many months ago – when I was still living in London – X got in contact by email and skype. We touched base every now and then however when I got to Australia last March X said she was dating someone so we lost touch.

Well a few weeks ago (when I was in Perth) she got back in touch (opening line “I’m single again!”) and said she would love to meet up when I got to Sydney. Fast forward to last week: X called and said that she is actually going to be driving up to the Gold Coast to see some friends and then back to Sydney, and did I want a ride?

Little bit of a dilemma here… I never date two people at the same time, but I got to wondering: What exactly have I got with M at the moment? Yes her “choose my own adventure” dates have been exciting, and our phone conversations great, but are we dating or what?

So I explained all of this to X and she said something really touching. In a nutshell:

“I don’t care if we just meet for five minutes or for a road trip. I like what you’re about, what you’re doing, and I just want to be a friend. I think I would benefit a lot from meeting you. I think you would make me laugh. I need that. So right now, I’m just offering you a ride. Are you in?”

The twist is that X has to be back in Sydney by Sunday (to baby-sit a dog) and that is the only time M could fly up to meet me.

So today I am going to meet X (no idea what she looks like) and then we are going to do a mini-road trip north and then south to Sydney again, where I hope to meet M before I leave to go to China.
And why China? That’s a whole other twisted story…

***
In other news...
Megan - a girl I dated twice - is in Africa helping people. She keeps an awesome journal of what she's up to, so I thought I would share it with all of you: click here.

M's Third Challenge: Plenty of Fish...

2007-04-29T17:41:00.000+01:00

(To see the first challenge in Perth, click here)
(To see the second challenge in Cairns, click here)
(To see the final challenge - and me meeting M - click here)

I can’t believe it… I’ve been on solid ground for two days now and my body is still swishing as if I were on waves. They call it “sea legs”. So I try to sit still instead of stand, but I still feel like a strand of kelp on a coral or something.

But then again, neither can I believe that the past week really happened. It could have easily all been a dream.

A review of M’s challenge#3:

Sweet success by you has been achieved so far
So it is time to put the pressure up and raise the bar
Your next challenge is to test your true patience and skills
You must get on a boat and swim with gills
You need to ensure you earn your keep
Test your employability – dive in the water…deep
You need to deliver me a photo of a blue fish
You need to be kissing it – and make a wish
You are at the one of the wonders of the world (great barrier reef) – the top
So use your resourcefulness fast – chop chop

Now she really is playing on the idea of “plenty of fish in the sea.” And here is what happened:

AreYouMyWife Video#57 - Kiss a Blue Fish, However Possible

(Video not working? Click here)

So do you like the underwater world? Well, there are a few people I need to thank – people whom made that last little masterpiece of a video what it is, because I used their footage and images.

Julia Sumerling
Does underwater documentaries. One hundred percent of the underwater cinematography in the video you just watched was filmed by her. Check her out on www.myspace.com/seeesharky or email her at julesthing@yahoo.com.au

Martin Heyn
Does underwater photography, and I used some of his snaps… check out his site www.aquabluedreams.com

To see stunning underwater photography by Julia and Martin, click here.

Mike Ball Expeditions
They are the ones I volunteered for. Check out www.mikeball.com

And as a result of this little challenge, I added a new Grain of Sand to the fold: a gorgeous shell from the bottom of the world.

Back on land!

2007-04-26T04:51:00.000+01:00

I made it! I made it back to land! I’ve been aboard a ship for one week as part of M’s Challenge#3…

At first it is the most peaceful – almost liberating – feeling in the world; nothing around but the endless ocean… no mobile reception, no internet, just you, the horizon and the waves. Forget clocks, sunrise/sunset.

But then after a few days you wonder how people go aboard ships for six months to a year. One can never be truly alone. Makes me think of Big Brother: everyone confined to a very small and encapsulated space. Everyone in each others' face and space. Personality conflicts.

My work days started at sunrise, and didn’t end until late night. I got sea sick. I grew fatigued because my bed rocked every night, and something called a bilge pump would go off at 3am right next to my head.

But then there was the diving… and my mission. Yes, I guess I will have to tell the full story. That coming shortly.

When I got off the boat land felt weird: it still felt like it was rocking. However, you can't just plunge into land like you can water. You can't just pick a degree out of 360 and just go that way.

But now I gotta get sorted… I’m back in the realm of communication, and that means thinking about what is next… And making a spectacular video…

So yea, I better do some thinking!

M’s Second Challenge

2007-04-19T02:57:00.000+01:00

(To see the first challenge in Perth, click here)
(To see the third challenge - a week at sea - click here)
(To see the final challenge - and me meeting M - click here)

M’s challenge #2:

Now in Cairns, wow you have done some miles
It is time for you to have lots of smiles
Your challenge is to collect something that signifies Cairns
With this you must go to Courthouse Pub to meet your fans
At 7:30pm you must enter and wave it above your head
You may look a bit strange it must be said
If you do well a sign will appear you won’t miss
If you play your cards right the night may end in a kiss
Knowing your spirit the crowd you meet I know you will bond
So search high a low a palm frond
I learned something new: palm frond.

I have never heard of a “palm frond.” Maybe M was trying to say “pond scum” or “calm wand” or “psalm fond”, but no, it was what she spelled…

That was challenge #2 – to find one (otherwise known as a palm branch) and wave it above my head at a bar in central Cairns. It was a signal.

The signal put me in touch with Merryn, Andrew, Armador and Roslyn… all friends of M. And that lead to adventure: jungle, pythons and waterfalls.

That was M’s second goal: to learn more about her through the people she calls friends. So I’m learning words and learning about M, who I still have never met, and still don’t know how, when or where we will ever meet.

So here, ladies and gentlemen, is what I know about M through the two challenges she has issued me thus far:

AreYouMyWife Video#56 – M’s Second Challenge

(Video not working? Click here.)

And now the plot thickens. Challenge#3:

Sweet success by you has been achieved so far
So it is time to put the pressure up and raise the bar
Your next challenge is to test your true patience and skills
You must get on a boat and swim with gills
You need to ensure you earn your keep
Test your employability – dive in the water…deep
You need to deliver me a photo of a blue fish
You need to be kissing it – and make a wish
You are at the one of the wonders of the world (great barrier reef) – the top
So use your resourcefulness fast – chop chop

If you try to email or call me between now and Thursday the 26th of April, I will be incommunicado. Challenge #3 is a test for me, that will take place over a week, on a boat and that will put me in touch with the largest living thing on Earth.

Date#37 - The next step...

2007-04-17T07:25:00.000+01:00

(This date asked that I call her "M" and not use her photo - yet... find out more)

(To see the second challenge in Cairns, click here)
(To see the third challenge - a week at sea - click here)
(To see the final challenge - and me meeting M - click here)

Location: All over Australia

Date is from: Melbourne

I finally heard from K… As I suspected, something happened. She was in Perth very briefly because her sister was taking her all around southern West Australia, then she boarded a plane and got stuck in Singapore, where – for five days now – she has been trying to get back to London. Poor thing!

But that isn’t to say I didn’t benefit from some down time in Perth. And then there was that challenge laid to me by “M”. Here is a reminder:

First Challenge from M

This challenge involves a choice that you will face
North or South – flip a coin for your next race
North is awesome – about seven hours by road
South is more sophisticated, two hours tops; in slow mode
So take a deep breath and take out a coin
For heads will mean it is the dolphins you join
Tails you also win, as the wine is great when you go south
Both will equally leave you with an open mouth
If it is tails – you must find a place where the Devil lives
If Heads, you must swim with an animal that always gives
If you have not worked it out
Then give me a shout!

M is in Melbourne, therefore quite a distance away from me, but her idea of dating is for me to get to know her better through a series of Australia-wide “choose my own” adventure type deals. At some point, we will meet. I will never know where, when or how. Just that I must keep doing the challenges.

The first challenge involved flipping a coin, with the outcomes of wine or dolphins. In the end, it all changed, and became dolphins, wine, lavender and South Africans. Here is Part II to my last video post:

AreYouMyWife Video#55 – Part 2 – The New Australia-wide Challenge

(Video not working? Click here.)

And as a result of randomness, a new Grain of Sand has been added: Lavender oil.

M has done something no other date has done so far: she has confused me – or rather, thrown a monkey wrench into one of my “systems.” On this site I give each date an icon, and then add red numbers if we date more than once.

So I’ve given M an icon, but I’m not sure if I should count each of her challenges as a separate date or just a piece of one big date? Bear in mind that I actually haven’t met M yet. This isn’t even a long distance relationship – it’s a long distance dating. I’m doing stuff without her, but through her challenges, poems and outcomes, getting to know pieces of what makes her her…

So now I’m in tropical Cairns, quite literally the complete opposite end of the Earth for Australians.

And here is M’s challenge #2:

Now in Cairns, wow you have done some miles
It is time for you to have lots of smiles
Your challenge is to collect something that signifies Cairns
With this you must go to Courthouse Pub to meet your fans
At 7:30pm you must enter and wave it above your head
You may look a bit strange it must be said
If you do well a sign will appear you won’t miss
If you play your cards right the night may end in a kiss
Knowing your spirit the crowd you meet I know you will bond
So search high a low a palm frond

Wine, Dolphins and Awards

2007-04-13T14:22:00.000+01:00

Well, the fact that K didn't call wasn’t so bad - thanks to the first "Australia-wide-treasure-hunt” quest set to me by M.

It involved wine and dolphins… more on that shortly, including a Part II video, this time without me boxing kangaroos…

I’m currently at the airport on the way to Cairns for my next quest, of which I have no idea, jsut that I need to get to Cairns, over 4,000kms away.

And get this: I just found out that the UK Metro has short-listed me for Brit Blog Awards ’07 in the Weird and Wonderful category! How cool is that? If you have a few seconds, and believe in democracy, please vote … if you want to, of course. Polls close in about a week, 20th of April… so get in there now! (If you want.)

If I win, I won't make a boring Oscars speech... I'll do something much better.

To read the article click here.

To vote, click here.

Patience is sooo worth it…

2007-04-10T03:59:00.000+01:00

The “just-over-one-week” wait mark struck two days ago. Still no word from K, the girl I came a long way to have a second date with (more than 3,000 kilometres, but hey, who’s counting?) If this were a normal date – say at a cinema or restaurant – K would be way beyond final credits or waiters putting chairs up and passing brooms.

But this ain’t a cinema or a restaurant. I can’t exactly just take the bus home. I’ve been (potentially) stood up on the ass-end of the world! I’m thousands of kilometres from places that are thousands more kilometres to anywhere I have family, or even familiar bus routes.

Maybe K has an explanation, who knows? I’m not one to judge. But I’m not one to sit around either without doing something (like, say, making hack videos about me thrashing digital kangaroos.)

But patience is rewarding. A brand new challenge came in. It involves a game of chance.

About two weeks ago I had a conversation with a woman we will call “M”. (I can’t recall exactly when she called, but probably when I was in – or near – South Australia, somewhere between the second or third breakdown with Frank and well distraught about whether or not the vultures over our heads would come lower in their circling.)

M lives in Melbourne, and had heard about me through friends of friends associated with the Bachelor and Spinsters Ball I attended. But distance between us didn’t bother M. It encouraged her. She wanted to play a game. It involves a series of challenges all over Australia, ending with us meeting… somewhere.

Below is the first challenge I received yesterday. Over the next month, I have many more awaiting me across the country. So I just bought a plane ticket to Cairns – 4,000 kilometres away. I leave Friday. But right now…. I need to find a coin.

FIRST CHALLENGE FROM “M”

This challenge involves a choice that you will face
North or South – flip a coin for your next race
North is awesome – about seven hours by road
South is more sophisticated, two hours tops; in slow mode
So take a deep breath and take out a coin
For heads will mean it is the dolphins you join
Tails you also win, as the wine is great when you go south
Both will equally leave you with an open mouth
If it is tails – you must find a place where the Devil lives
If Heads, you must swim with an animal that always gives
If you have not worked it out
Then give me a shout!

Is Patience a Virtue? Or Boxing Roos?

2007-04-07T05:01:00.000+01:00

So yeah, it’ll be a week tomorrow that I’ve been waiting to hear from K for that second date. I know she’s in the wine region with her sister, and I know it’s Easter and all, but hey, waiting ain’t so bad.

I’ve learned, for example, that in Perth it is illegal – yes ILLEGAL – to drop kick, or act with intent to drop kick, a TransPerth train carriage. See:

I also met some dude who did still frame animation, and I thought I would experiment with it in my latest video. I used some inspiration from that sign about drop-kicking trains. Still frame animation takes a lot of time. A lot. But right now, all I got is time.

AreYouMyWife Video#55: Part 1 of 2 – Patience is a Virtue
(Video not working? Click here...)

If you were wondering what I meant by my first date with K, click here

And click here to review my date with Alexandra, and the embarrassing incident with her brother.

Oh, and happy Easter, remember what it's all about.

The Other Side of the Coin

2007-04-03T04:40:00.001+01:00

I realised that I may have screwed up. In my last post about meeting the only other Allan Wills I've ever known, I made a joke about hemp. I thought it was funny, but then I realised it also made my namesake look like a pot-head, which he patently is not.

The other Allan Wills is patient, kind, well read and deeply intelligent. He does not, in any way, abuse substances. He is - above letting me stay with him - adding so many Grains of Sand to what I'm doing.

So when he asked if he could write a reply to my post, I had no qualms. All my dates have that right - write what they want about me, and I'll post it unedited. Many of my dates haven't.

So below are Allan's words... the other Allan.

In other news I hope to hear from K soon. But I ain't exactly sitting around waiting to hear from her. I got a few other offers that are really tempting and involve blind trust.

From Allan Wills to Allan Wills

To questing Allan Wills from the Perth Allan Wills: Allan, no worries about the hempen pledge, to be bound by the same name is a matter of destiny anyway.

I’ve read what some of your previous dates had to say about you and I read about the gifts you have been given along the way so I decided to give you a volume from my bookshelf. I’ve always thought that you don’t choose books, books choose you.

The book is my volume of Mencius. Who the heck is Mencius you might ask and what the heck has he got to do with a love quest? Well, Mencius was a later interpreter of the works of Confucius. Sort of Pink Floyd reinterpreted as rap so the modern world could understand. What the heck has Mencius got to do with finding love? That’s a tough one since Mencius was concerned with good governance by the Imperial system rather than dispensing advice about finding love.

Here goes, just flick through the pages and voila! Book II Part A Section 1. “The influence of virtue spreads faster than an order transmitted through posting stations”. Which is to say that reputation is everything. Maybe there’s something in this. The internet sure is faster than pony express and yes, after some extensive conversations with you I can say that you are a good and virtuous sort of guy.

But what has Mencius got to say on the cultivation of romance? On the same page Mencius quotes a saying “You may be clever, but it is better to make use of circumstances; You may have a hoe but it is better to wait for the right season.” To some modern ears this might sound like “you need more than possession of a hoe to cultivate a garden”.

But I think Mencius is talking about time and circumstances: cultivation of romance happens in the right circumstances at the right time. I think your series of dates so far is an exploration and has not yet approached the serious cultivation of romance. But that is no drawback to the quest, I think romance is something that your readers and a lucky partner can look forward to in the future.

Lastly amongst the printed wisdom, Book VII Part A Section 3: “Seek and you will get it; let go and you will lose it. If this is the case, then seeking is of use to getting and what is sought is within yourself. But if there is a proper way to seek it and whether you get it or not depends on destiny, then seeking is of no use to getting and what is sought lies outside yourself.”

The seek and ye shall find part is straightforward enough, but I think Mencius is distinguishing between matters of the heart and matters involving external posessions. To my way of thinking, finding a partner is about matters of the heart and developing a relationship is about projecting to your prospective partner the elements that lie within. So in a sense, what is sought really does lie within oneself. I must say too that Allan, like myself, is not someone of wealth and position. Such things are a matter of destiny and what will happen will happen.

So with those ancient and borrowed words this April Fool bids you Allan and all your readers good luck in whatever you are seeking and exits stage left

The Man With An Interesting Name

2007-04-01T05:29:00.000+01:00

I often get asked in emails and media interviews “What would a date with Allan Wills be like?”

Well I found out. Some may recall that when I started the Book O’ Dreams, I had to date myself. It ended with a yummy sandwich.

But in coming to Perth – a place that (at the risk of sounding redundant) bills itself “The Most Isolated City on Earth” – I found out quite a bit about myself… and hemp.

You see, for the first time in my life, I met another Allan Wills – and he’s in the most isolated city on Earth.

I’ve met Alan’s and Allen’s and Alin’s and Alain’s before, and another Wills or two (sometimes a Willis, but never Bruce), but never an Allan Wills that spells it Allan Wills. He doesn’t have the same middle name as me, but his dad does! If you Google my – ahem, our – name, you’ll find me, Perth Allan and Alan Cameron Wills, who obviosuly hasn't spell checked his first name.

(I once read a book by Dave Gorman where he travels the world looking for anyone with the same name. Funny book. Read it. And he has another one about Google, too.)

But this AW defines himself as a hermit. He’s an entomologist, works often in the forest analysing worms and bugs, and lives very low key.

Allan invited me back to his place where something very strange occurred. I walked in the door and saw a pile of letters that had been pushed through the mail slot. My first instinct was to open them. They were, after all, addressed to me.

But if I opened these letters, I would be committing a federal crime: opening post that was not mine. Imagine finding out on Google that I was a criminal? (Actually, if you scroll down far enough, you will.)

So we hung out, talked about life and how the name Allan Wills has been treating us. Neither of us have ever considered a name change or hated our parents for the title, so that’s good. Then Allan passed me a book of Chinese poems, and claimed to have found something related to the AreYouMyWife Gift Knot.

It read: “Hemp, hempen pledge, a love token of hemp was picked by the shaman-poet in The Nine Songs section of the Songs Of Ch’u: “I pick the glistening bloom of Holy Hemp / To give to one who lives far away.”

Cosmic, man.

Now you might well be wondering why I’m not on my second date with K yet after spending more than a week in a dodgy car coming out to see her. Well, she arrived and texted me to say that her sister has taken her away for a week to the wine region. So I gotta wait, which is no worries when things like meeting Allan Wills happen. And learning about hemp, and stuff.

And, as Allan pointed out, it would be to my great advantage to be patient in order to meet a woman who has a lot of wine in her system that I didn’t have to pay for.

He has a point you know. And wait til I tell her that we’re isolated.

***
Since this is the second time I dated myself, I let Allan make an entry in the Book O’ Dreams, though I didn’t give him an AreYouMyWife Gift Knot because I feel bad that it ain’t hemp.

Ultimate Date? … Pretty Darn Close

2007-03-30T02:57:00.000+01:00

What I just went through in the past three days would have be an amazing dating scenario – a way to truly see someone’s true colours: A journey across 3,000 kms of nothing in a car that ran on prayer.

Below this post is the first part of that odyssey – from Melbourne to Adelaide – where our car “Frank” died five times, resurrected only through the kindness of strangers. It was enough kindness to get us to Adelaide.

Popo, George and I hoped against all odds that we could complete this trip in Frank. Here is what happened:

AreYouMyWife Video#54 – Part 2 of 2 – Road trip to Perth
(Video not working? Click here.)

The reason I say this would make a great date is because everything that could go wrong did go wrong. It tested our resources and forced out our true personalities in crisis…

Shame I was with two blokes and not a woman. But no worries, I couldn’t have asked for better road buddies than Popo and George. Above all, we laughed just to avoid crying. I’m going to call K now, and see about that second date.

And I still have to meet the guy with the interesting name.

But a pattern repeated: As soon as I disappeared from the “connected” world for more than 30 hours, other stuff came up.

Firstly, I just found out that one or two photos I took are going to be in Kyle “OneRedPaperclip” Macdonald’s new book, which you can pre-order by clicking here.

Secondly, a guy named Evan made me a cool offer… to help make a Super Bowl ad. Click here to read about that.

And finally one woman heard about me through the Elmore B+S ball, got in touch, and claims to have something really Ultimate-datish for me. Thing is, she’s thousands of kilometres away. But her offer is bloody good.

To see more photos from this journey, click here

Hard Charging

2007-03-27T07:20:00.000+01:00

I just did a calculation. When I lived in London, I averaged about a date every couple of days. But since I arrived in Australia, my last date was over a week ago, and the next may be another week from now. But then again there isn’t exactly an Underground Subway with trains every three minutes running across Australia.

The girl I intend to meet in Perth for a second date lives in London, but she will be down visiting her sister in Perth as of next week. That’s why I wanted to take a road trip; because I had a bit of time until she gets here and have always wanted to cross the Nullabor.

But this road trip is taking longer than usual. We’re about three days behind, but we don’t care. We’re having a blast.

We is: Popo (from New Zealand), George (from Scotland) and “Frank” – our Ford Fairlane 1988 with 332,000kms+ on the dial. There is 900 kilometres between Melbourne and Adelaide (if you take the Great Ocean Road) but our car Frank lost his juice three times and we had to sleep in him!

Well here, this will explain everything:

AreYouMyWife Video#54 – Part 1 of 2 – Road trip to Perth
(Video not working? Click here.)

Once we did get to Adelaide we stayed the weekend with a guy named Bundy and had a hoot; Beer, barbies and backyard mayhem. We had no choice – mechanics don’t open until Monday. Frank just got a brand new alternator, so we’re going to head back out on the road today and see how we go.

Oh, and I’ve given up on calculations. I’m just enjoying the moment with a couple of good lads. And a road trip to a second date through a scorching desert that takes more than week is something the grandkids defiantly want to hear about, I reckon.

Miracle!

2007-03-22T07:01:00.000Z

I was so close to just giving up and taking a plane... but then just as I'm checking flight prices, I get a call from two travellers - one Scot and one Kiwi - asking if I still want to road trip to Perth!

So I'm off right now (Friday morning). We "reckon" it will take a week but anything could happen: booze, kangaroos, wind storms, an outback date, who knows...

If I don't answer my phone or reply to emails too swiftly, please thank the good people at Telstra who charge extortionate rates for phone calls but don't cover the Nullabor. Go figure.

Anyway, Gazza (see post below this one) told me this poem before I left... I like it. I hope you do too:

To see a world in a grain of sand
And heaven in a wildflower
Hold infinity in the palm of your hand
And eternity in an hour

-- Author unknown

Seinfeld of Melbourne

2007-03-21T23:17:00.000Z

Yes, I am currently staying with the Jerry Seinfeld of Australia. And he was there when it all began.

Flashback to early July 2006. I was in Venice Beach, Los Angeles, California staying at a youth hostel. I met Gary from Melbourne (who prefers to be called Gazza) because we shared a room. We hung out, walked the beach, talked, went drinking in Hollywood, etc. and then parted ways after swapping emails.

The reason I was in Venice Beach was because my brother had just started working for the airline, given me the benefit of buddy passes and I wanted to get away – far away – from my London corporate life for awhile. So I did. LA and London are very far apart.

But see, Venice Beach was where I got inspired to change my dating life using a blog. Back then it had no name, it was just a loose concept in my head. Like the pilot episode of Seinfeld, my idea was about nothing in particular.

And I spoke to Gazza about my loose concept as we walked to Santa Monica along the boardwalk. I called it all kinds of things: DareToDate.com, DateAllan.com, DareDating.com, WorldDate.com, and other useless or otherwise taken names.

It was only after we both parted that I decided AreYouMyWife.com might be a good name. Then I started this blog a few weeks later, and now I’m in Melbourne staying with Gazza and the Ultimate Date deadline is set for one year after I met him.

And why is Gazza like Jerry Seinfeld?

• He’s about the same age
• He has a nice apartment with a bike
• He leaves the door open (after that comment, I will not tell you where he lives)
• He’s funny, easygoing and very kind to those he knows
• I cannot figure out how he makes an income, but he lives well
• At least three people I’ve met through him remind me of other characters
George = Robbie
Elaine = Nikki
Kramer = Mark

As you might expect, Gazza is now on the Helpers Roll of Honour. But I cannot stay with him forever. I must make moves.

On the topic of nothing, that is what I am facing now. I need to get to Perth, and all the avenues I’ve tried short of flying have dried up. I’ve put posters up at truck stops, gas stations and youth hostels. I’ve made internet postings. I was about to pray, then realised I don’t know how.

Aside from a second date with someone, and aside from the “guy with an interesting name”, I just got off a radio interview with the lead singer of Crakajak and I now have so many other reasons to go west through 3,000kms of nothing…

But first I need to start going… and right now, that is the problem I’m up against. It seems that – like Seinfeld – I must go through a lot of nothing to get to something.

*****

FOLLOW-UP-STORY

Do you remember Kate? Date#25 - The GirlNextDoor? Well she did an experiment called 31-days where she dated for a month straight to see if she could ask someone out a second time by Valentine’s day… Well, Current TV in London did a segment about it so have a look by clicking here…

Date #36 - A week on a farm

2007-03-19T05:45:00.000Z

Location: Elmore, Victoria, Australia (click here to see a map)

Nothing like hard labour, dust and lots of space to sort out a Bachelor and Spinsters Ball recovery. Sandra and Drew Shotton – the folks who got me to go the Elmore B&S – asked if I wanted to kick around a bit.

I accepted their invitation to stay on the farm because I love hard labour and wide open spaces. That is when a man is a man and sheep are scared.

It started with sheep sheering. While I would like to tell you that I held clippers and head-locked beasts, I didn’t. Two big sweaty blokes named Dud and Pup shaved sheep ass faster than I can type this up. They went through 300 sheep in a frenzy. I swept up bum fluff. It is a lot of fun, I am not kidding.

I also met a cool guy named “Dirt.” His real name is… I don’t know. It seems everyone in this small town doesn’t use their real name. Anyway, Dirt and I got on real well so he took me along to help him plaster a new property. We talked a lot of s**t. A lot. It was great.

Then one day Drew kicked me out of bed at 5am to drive down to Melbourne to collect 30 tons of fertilizer in his big rig. Big riggin’ is awesome. You sit above a throbbing diesel engine that gets 2km/litre in mileage and has a fuel capacity of 700 litres. It is louder than a jackhammer convention.

But to be so high on the road and look down on all those ants driving cars is intoxicating. Mind you, two things in Drew’s big rig caught my eye immediately:

1) There is a bed behind the driver’s seat. I gave it a test. A long test. It works!

2) Drew has a CB radio where you can hear Australian truckies talk absolute s**t fast and constantly. I estimate I understood about 35-40% of what they were saying. And I even tried to join in… here’s what happened:

AreYouMyWife Video#53 – Date#36: A week on a farm
After my week on the farm I joined the Shottons and two other Elmore families for a scout camp getaway where about seven children (I estimate seven, there could have been more because they all look the same when they run) used my limbs as monkey bars. Then I was dropped off in Melbourne where I am currently staying with a guy who was there in Los Angeles when AreYouMyWife began… more on that in a bit.

My next quest is to have a second date with someone. She arrives in Australia in a week or so. I just need to figure out how to cross 2,727kms (1,695 miles) to get to her… oh, and someone else really wants to meet me out there as well… a man with an interesting name.

To see more photos click here

Date#35 - Bachelor and Spinsters Ball

2007-03-14T02:21:00.000Z

Location: Elmore, Victoria, Australia (click here to see a map)

It’s amazing what happens when you make no plans, just go and don’t expect anything. In the case of coming to the other side of the world, many opportunities arose for me. I have a feeling that the Ultimate Date is going to get a huge injection.

I arrived in Melbourne to be picked up by my hosts Sandra and Drew, farmers from Elmore which is a two hour drive north of the city. We headed out into the arid, dusty country side and it hurt me to see how much worse the Australian drought has become since I left the country in 2003 (and it was bad then). One reservoir we passed was no more than a puddle.

But soon, like everyone else who lives here, I found distraction: the pub. All around Elmore people had put up news clippings with my photo and the header that I was coming to the Elmore Bachelor and Spinsters Ball. Embarrassingly, some newspapers didn’t actually read my site before they went to print, and billed me as “The guy from England who wants to marry someone from Elmore.”

You can always tell you're in Australia when people introduce themselves with anything but their real name. I would come to meet “Dirt”, “Dibbs”, “Slabs”, “Whitey”, “Gizza”, “Pup”, “Dud”, “Adz” and all kinds. The locals were friendly and easy to laugh. The next day I helped set a few things up at the site, however all day Sandra kept warning me: be ready.

In the afternoon Elmore (population 900) welcomed 1,425 newcomers driving hundreds of modified “Utes” (what the rest of the world call “pick up trucks”). Engines revving became the background noise and they all lined up at the gates. Once the gate opened, a dusty field became a small city of Utes.

So I wandered around and made new friends, got sucked into doing a beer bong, learned to crack whips and generally got asked why I sounded different. Most of the girls giggled and said “You’re that bloke looking for a wife-o!” to which I replied in their language: “Right-o, fair dinkum.”

Sandra would hand me my “kit” consisting of a stubbie holder, a pouch with “Snake” condoms and a white shirt. I had brought my own shirt, but Sandra insisted I take another… for reasons that would become obvious soon enough.

Evening fell and the ladies put on dresses while the blokes put on bow ties and nice evening wear.

You may recall that a month ago I was in Scotland where my date “E” helped me choose a kilt to wear for this very ball. She couldn’t have done a better job at making me a target. I had fully intended to stick to Scottish tradition and go “commando”, but then I wondered what the first thing a drunken cowboy would do to a foreign man in a kilt. For preservation purposes, I wore undies.

It didn’t take long before people were “having a squiz” (Aussie for “looking”) where they had no business. Alcohol, readily available petrol fumes and a long day in the sun had turned the crowd “ready.”

I found out why Sandra had given me a shirt when suddenly my pocket got torn off. Then I got written on (including two phone numbers), and soon thereafter my shirt got torn to shreds on the dance floor as we grooved to Crakajack. Then I got covered in food dye and grog.

Hey, why don’t you just watch this video:
AreYouMyWife Video#52 – The Elmore Bachelor and Spinsters Ball
All night people were trying to “hook me up with a Shiela” to share a “swag” (Aussie rollout sleeping bag/mattress) with. And maybe I would have, except I had a lot to drink, was very jet lagged, and eventually ended up under a car in someone’s swag all by myself.

So what was the point of coming to the other side of the world to a Bachelor and Spinsters ball in the desert when I didn’t even pick up in an environment geared to swag shagging? Well life happens when you make plans, or better yet when you sleep under the stars surrounded by inebriated cowboys.

Four major things happened the next day:

1) Sandra and Drew asked if I wanted to stay on their farm for a week. So I said yes, with the condition that I help out. I consider it a date with a farm.

2) I got a phone call from one of my former dates who wants to set something major up for me somewhere else in the world.

3) I also received some emails from various corners of the globe. A huge business opportunity might be in the pipe lines, and new avenues to make some people’s entries in the Book O’ Dreams come true might also come out it. But it could take months to pull it off.

4) I have an invitation to second date someone from London in Perth, Western Australia, which is about a gazillion miles across the desert from where I am now, so I will have to figure out how to get there.

And there is more… Right now (eight months after I started AreYouMyWife) I decided to create the first rule! You could say that what happened over the weekend at Elmore – the booze, the calls, the emails, the lack of plans for next week – made me do it.

So far there have been no rules, but now there is one which will probably decrease the amount of dates I will get, but increase the chance that the Ultimate Date will be the one…

Here it goes:

The FIRST AreYouMyWife rule

If you would like to one day go on the Ultimate Date with me, you must – like me – be willing to give up everything material to go anywhere in the world if the right opportunity arises. You must be willing to make dreams come true.

This rule doesn’t mean that people can’t date me or meet me as a friend or go for a drink, but those who really want to join me on the Ultimate Date will have to say yes to the above.

I’ve changed the Ultimate Date and Story So Far write-ups accordingly.

If you’ll excuse me, I now have a date with a farm. And I have to get to Perth somehow. And… well, right now I’m not thinking beyond that.

(By the way, check out the front page of the local newspaper by clicking here.)

To see photos from the event, click here

Links
* Crakajack
* B+S Ball Website

I'm here...

2007-03-09T03:37:00.000Z

I was sitting in Honolulu waiting for my connection to Sydney when a nice voice came over the PA speaker and said “Thanks for visiting our islands, aloha alloy ho.”

And without missing a beat, the voice just as calmly continued: “The current threat level is Orange. Report anything suspicious to staff. Aloha alloy ho.”

I thought that was fascinating.

I also thought this was fascinating. Two days ago, I was X-country skiing with Sandra.

This is me two days later on Bondi beach:

I made it to Sydney and it felt so weird – and not because they didn’t seem to have US-style colour coded threat levels. My good friend Maria picked me up and allowed me to share a place she was house sitting. Onto the Helpers Roll of Honour she goes.

We bused and walked all around Sydney for the day, revisiting places that I once called home for 16 months! Yes, that is how long I once lived in Sydney.

But like I said, it was weird. I was standing on Bondi beach, and in various other select places (I walked past two apartments that I once held a key for), and I realised that all the people that used to make Sydney what it was – friends, co-workers, travellers, house mates – are all gone.

Now I am in sticky hot outback Elmore, north of Melbourne, armed with the kilt I got from “E” in Scotland, to attend the Elmore B&S Ball Outback Dating. Tomorrow a massive transport truck is arriving full of beer and rum. My hosts have offered to loan me a shirt and bow tie – because apparently I’m going to get torn to shreds.

Please forgive me if there is a few days until my next post.

Date#34 - Strangers and Coincidences

2007-03-07T00:07:00.000Z

(This date let me use her real first name and photo - find out more)

Location: Vancouver, Canada and Seattle, USA

Date is from: Originally El Salvador , raised completely in BC

What happened on this date was like a sequel with a purpose. After an awesome, spiritual time with Sandra, I met Susana. The things I learned from Sandra – namely to let go and just worry about the next 200 yards of a long journey – came heavily into play with Susana.

For example, the only reason Susana and I crossed paths was because the CD player in her car got stolen – twice – and she was forced to listen to the radio where she heard about AreYouMyWife.

We emailed back and forth and then I asked if she fancied a trip to Seattle, because I was invited to be a guest on ABC’s Northwest Afternoon talk show. Her reply: “Hell ya!”

Susana has spirit and punch, but she also laid her cards out right off the bat, admitting that she is severely directionally challenged. Even meeting me at a major intersection in Vancouver proved interesting for the broken compass in her mind. But we did meet.

Accordingly I printed off a pile of Google maps and Susana asked that I drive her car, based solely on my knack for knowing in which general direction lay Washington state.

Now consider for a minute that the two of us were complete strangers to one another and I was now driving her car simply because her CD player got stolen… twice. In a strange way, crime committed by someone else paid off for me. Stranger still, consider our next challenge as a newly formed team: where to stay in the US.

Enter Jayson. He’s a guy that got in touch with me through MySpace. Thankfully he wasn’t another man looking for a date, he was just interested in my idea and said we should have a beer sometime because he, too, travels all over the world randomly. He put me in touch with Emily, a Minnesotan studying in Tacoma, just south of Seattle.

And how do Jayson and Emily know each other? Some website similar to CouchSurfing.com – a network of travellers and people willing to offer them free accommodation.

But then Susana and I got to the US border crossing and worried. What if the Border Guard asked the following:

Border Guard: “How do you two know each other?”

Susana and Allan: (swap a stare) “AreYouMyWife.com.”

B.G.: “Where are you staying while in the US?”

S&A: (sweating) “With a girl who has a couch and knows this dude from the internet.”

Next scene: red dots on our heads and the sound of latex gloves being donned.

Fortunately that scenario didn’t play out. The border guard was only interested in our attitudes towards illegal narcotics, fruits, tobacco and weapons. We were in the US!

Tacoma

My knack for knowing which way was south got us to Emily’s house share in Tacoma – “a place where the homes are mobile and the cars ain’t.”

Emily generously received us and introduced us to her three other house mates, also students at the nearby University. Susana took the comfy couch while I was issued an airbed. For her generosity, Emily also makes the Helpers Roll of Honour.

Survivor and I on TV

The next day Susana and I assailed Seattle for the TV chat show. While sitting the in the green room I met the most fascinating woman: Amy Racina.

Check this out: Amy is hiking in California … alone. She falls 60 feet into a ravine. Breaks both legs. Moves her battered body forward on elbows. Survives for four days, almost dies, gets a last minute air-lift rescue. Learn more by clicking here.

After Amy heard my story, she said that my Ultimate Date should be the true test of companionship. She joked that a date and I should go through what she went through, but as a team: 60 foot drop, broken bones, bleak outlook for survival over four days.

Not a bad idea. Not bad at all.

The show

While on the show, Niki (the woman I have dated the most so far) was also a guest via telephone. One of the hosts asked a poignant question of Niki: Why do you still meet this guy when he’s out there dating others?

Her reply: While she gets to watch who I’m dating, I never know who she’s dating.

Nice one Niki!

And with that Susana and I headed north again back to Vancouver, chatting about the path and people that opened up to us because her CD player got stolen… twice.

To see more photos, click here

Date#33 – West Coast Spirituality

2007-03-06T00:09:00.000Z

(This date let me use her real first name and photo - find out more)

Location: Vancouver, Canada (to see a map, click here)

Date is from: Vancouver, Canada

If ever you feel like just crossing your legs and chanting “Ummmm” as part of a journey to a recharge a plagued mind or soul, come to British Columbia.

As soon as I descended from the plane (listening to Jennifer’s “Music to Accompany my Quest”) I breathed in the vigorous BC air. My pupils dilated like a shark smelling blood, and my memories came crashing through.

You see, I used to live and work in Whistler. Those were the days: school was done and nothing but good times were ahead of me. The air is crisp, the energy is high and nature’s playground is right there beckoning.

Thankfully I still had one solid friend from those heady days: Jordan. Jordan is quite the guy. He laughs, the room laughs. There has never been a dull moment with Jordan, whether it be howling nonsense in a bar or talking about the deeper meaning of life and women. He has a massive white cat named “Cocaine.” Jordan, Cocaine and Valerie (girlfriend) would host me in Vancouver, and hence they make the Helpers Roll of Honour.

But I was also here on “business;” I would date two people, the first of which would be Sandra, the quintessential west coast girl: sporty, laid back and spiritual.

Originally she had wanted to take me to Whistler for a weekend with a bunch of her friends, but that plan fell through. Instead, she first would join Jordan, some friends and I for a dinner one evening, and then the next day we decided to go cross country skiing on Cypress Mountain.

AreYouMyWife Video#51 – West Coast Spirituality

Lately my mind has been slightly plagued. At this point in the AreYouMyWife journey, Vancouver represented the last staple of stability for at least the next four months. Once I get to Australia, the rest of my journey will be increasingly random. I do find it a bit worrying, but once I got to the rainforest of Cypress Mountain and started skiing with Sandra, my mind relaxed and the omens came in.

We got lost several times in the heavy fog … and just didn’t care. We were in the moment, lost among shroud, snow and trees. The sounds, smells, tastes and beauty of nature just commanded our attention, and we knew we would come out somewhere… eventually. Sandra and I talked about life and randomness, and she gave me some sage advice:

“If you’re doing a road trip from California to New York by night, you have a departure and a destination. However the route in between will change often, and all you can do is focus on the next 200 yards, because that is how far your headlights will let you see. But trust, you will make it.”

And that is what I took from Sandra: Just relax. And what happened on my next date just floored me… I could never have imagined it.

To see more photos, click here

Oh, and after making an entry into the Book O’ Dreams, Sandra handed me a little piece of paper when we parted with the following text that just really hit home about what I am feeling at the moment:

COMES THE DAWN
(author unknown)

After awhile you learn the subtle difference
between holding a hand and chaining a soul.

And you begin to learn that kisses aren’t
contracts and presents aren’t promises.

And you begin to accept your defeats with your
head up and your eyes open,
with the grace of a woman,
not the grief of a child.

And you learn to build all your roads on today
because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain,
and futures have a way of falling down in mid
flight.

After awhile you learn that even sunshine burns
if you get too much.

So plant your own garden, and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.

And you learn that you really can endure.

That you really are strong.

And you really have worth.

And you learn, that with every good-bye, you learn.

Ozzie land

2007-03-05T17:27:00.000Z

It has been a very interesting past few days on the North American north west coast to say the least... I need a bit of time to write it all up and make a video ... so I guess the 16 or so hours on a plane to Australia should do...

And now the plot really thickens, because once I hit Australia, everthing else afterward - the where, when, what, how and who - will be completley random.

US bound...

2007-03-04T19:51:00.000Z

Had quite the experience recently... feeling another video coming on involving snow, wildness and west coast lovin'.

But for now I must walk down the street to meet a series of strangers... I am holding my bags and three Google Maps with directions to three locations in Washington state... more soon... the road awaits

Date#32 - Simply Capital

2007-03-02T17:39:00.000Z

(This date let me use her real first name - find out more)

Location: Ottawa, Canada (to see a map, click here)

Date is from: Newfoundland, Canada

The last time in my life I went Ottawa -> Vancouver -> US -> Australia I was 23, freshly armed with a bachelor degree, fresh out of a long term relationship and freshly ready to party. This time I’m 30, still a bachelor, on a different mission but still willing to learn.

My decision to come to Ottawa was very last minute. Firstly, a nice girl by the name of Jennifer had contacted me weeks ago to ask me out on a random road trip. Secondly, an Ottawa-based psychologist named Peter Maclean got in touch. He specialises, among much else, in relationships.

Hence I got drawn to Canada’s capital city – a place where I spent three years earning a Bachelors in Business. And how apt all these words are – “bachelor,” “business,” “degree”. My date with Jennifer taught much about degrees of kindness, whereas my meeting with Peter taught me a lot about the business of love.

Date with Jennifer – Degrees in Kindness

Jennifer works for the National Arts Centre. She picked me up from the bus station and took me right away to our first event – Traces: Les 7 Doigts de la Main.

Amazing. Out of this world. Nuts. It’s Theatre meets circus. I left with my jaw scraping the ground. I won’t use any more words, just watch these videos:

After the show we just relaxed and talked. Jennifer is one of the kindest people I’ve ever met. She let me stay on her couch and she trusted me to be alone in the apartment with her cat Pixel when she went out. Mind you, she does originally come from Newfoundland. Newfies are the salt of the earth; Kindness to strangers is their heritage.

The next day Jennifer went to work, so I had a day to myself. That’s when I met Peter (more on that below) and that evening Jennifer took me for a walk down memory lane.

Sadly we didn’t have time to do a random road trip. Instead, we went to the Chateau Laurier, where I used to work. It is the strangest feeling in the world to go back and see a place that has not changed ascetically, but is both full of so many memories and so many new faces that have no association with those memories. I used to know everyone there. None are left.

Afterward Jennifer and I went ice skating down the canal. I’m not trying to sound too Canadian or anything, but skating is the fastest way to get around a city. That evening we had a fabulous home cooked meal, and Jennifer gave me a wonderful gift: A CD compilation of music to “accompany my quest” with a handmade insert housing words of wisdom.

She then made her rightful entry into the Book O’ Dreams and received her AreYouMyWife Gift Knot.

Meeting with Peter – Business of love

Peter is a very intense man. He has studied long and hard in the domain of psychology and we had a long, deep chat about love, career and life. However, at first I was very leery about meeting him. The last time I interacted with a psychologist under the AreYouMyWife umbrella was with Dr. Marre, the psychologist who was out to prove I was a fake. Mind you, that ended well.

Peter’s main question about AreYouMyWife: Do I really believe that what I’m doing is the most efficient way to find love? To be honest I’m not sure. Then again, I have never been sure. God only knows where I’ll be by July – mentally and geographically. I’m currently living out of two bags.

But Peter insists that one must do one’s homework and save a lot of time. He suggested a number of books to read, king of which was “Love Smart” by Dr. Phil. He also praised self-assessment – making a list of all the things I want in a partner, ranking them, and then applying it to the search.

But do I know myself well? Do I know what I want: in life, in love, in general? Then a tough question: What do I have to offer? On balance, Peter claims that studies show women like security in a man: financial, mental, family wise, etc. Did I really feel I knew myself if I was randomly jetting off all over the world with no guarantee of career or home?

Then the word “screening” came up. It was the sum of knowing myself, knowing what I want and then the process of screening a potential life partner. Peter was assessing the whole AreYouMyWife process.

Much of what he said seemed sound… in theory. I’m not sure I agree that finding love involves ticking boxes on surveys, compiling data in spreadsheets and making statistical correlations. At this point, I just want to meet people and put faith in random processes.

I suppose my mistrust of hard science comes from my Bachelor degree. Above all else, I learned how flawed statistics and data gathering and surveys can be. What if people lie? What if they don’t tick who they are, but what they think they are? What if the questions are flawed?

My hypothesis: That doing something random all over the world will create several dots. I then have to connect them to see the bigger picture.

But what if I’m wrong? What if taking a scientific approach to dating can save me time and money? Maybe I should sit home behind a desk and try screening and assessment and do my home work.

Then again, if I never came to Ottawa on a random date, I would have never met Peter. So for now I’ll stick to the plan of having no plan. Worse case, you may find me in a book shop in July, no Ultimate Date, combing all the singles literature, ticking boxes and going to screenings other than film.

And there is something else: A little meeting I had with an old friend before I went to Ottawa. It may well be my key to the lack of career/living situation. But I can’t touch on that just yet. For now, I’m going to see who still likes me when I’m nomadic, and who really believes that connecting random dots makes better overall pictures.

LINKS
* National Arts Centre
* Traces
* Peter’s Website

Life in a Nutshell Patterns

2007-02-28T13:55:00.000Z

Sometimes you gotta wonder about the patterns in life. I’m making my way to Australia over the next 10 days, and last minute I decided on a visit to Ottawa for reasons I will reveal soon.

But here’s the thing: I graduated from Ottawa University in 2000. I then went to work in Whistler, B.C. for a year before road-tripping through the U.S. and then going to Australia for a couple of years. It was a wonderful period in my life; school was over, I was free, I had time to go buck-nutty, the roads were open, anything was possible.

And without realising it, I will be almost re-tracing my steps: I’m in Ottawa now, Vancouver (and a date in Whistler) in the coming week, then a trip to Seattle, then off to Australia. This path randomly opened up because of AreYouMyWife, but it sure feels like Deja-Vu!

However this time I’m older, wiser, and on a different quest.